5 reasons why you can’t really ban online porn…

keyboard-6105750_12801. There are simply too many web sites and pages…

Governments still don’t get the immense gigantic nature of the Internet. There is absolutely no way to police millions and millions of web pages. The amount of web pages that have nude/semi-nude images and other erotic content is too large to list.

In fact in this particular case the Indian government did not ban pornography (which is simply not possible) as mentioned by most headlines. They went ahead and banned 857 websites for pornographic content. That’s the actual news.

It was a bureaucratic list based on probably their popularity in India. But then if you banned those 857, then another 857 would take their place. It’s like emptying an ocean with a bucket.

2. It is the “Worldwide” Web: That’s another thing that most governments haven’t figured out. Web servers are all over the world while jurisdiction of a government is based within a country. Those 857 sites could easily find a way to set up parallel sites on other servers and beat the Indian system.

Things may have worked to some extent in the pre-Internet age. You could take popular magazines and books to court and set an example. Publishing was a long-drawn process and nobody wanted to get into a long-drawn legal battle and that served as a check and a balance. That’s definitely not the case with the Internet.

3. Too many ways to beat it: There are many ways to get around visiting banned websites. There are proxy sites and anonymous surfing. You might still be able to access a site using Google cache. No matter what the Indian government tries, hackers will find a way to beat the ban and then they will pass on the information to common users.

4. What about borderline cases? Let’s say for a moment that the government spectacularly succeeds and indeed does manage to ban the thousands of popular porn sites that there are in the world. The focus will then shift to borderline cases.

What about the media sites that show umpteen photo galleries of skimpily clad women to boost up traffic? Could that be classified as porn? What about a website that shows movies that feature nudity?

It’s like opening a Pandora’s Box and soon courts could be flooded with litigation to define what sites constitute as porn or not and what can be banned and not.

5. The definition itself is tricky: Wikipedia defines pornography as “the portrayal of sexual subject matter for the purpose of sexual arousal”. That itself is a tricky definition. At one level anything that leads to sexual arousal could be called pornography.

India’s IT Act also specifies that pornography or obscenity is a crime. The definition is laid down by Section 292 which states…

…shall be deemed to be obscene if it is lascivious or appeals to the prurient interest or if its effect, or (where it comprises two or more distinct items) the effect of any one of its items, is, if taken as a whole, such as to tend to deprave and corrupt person, who are likely, having regard to all relevant circumstances, to read, see or hear the matter contained or embodied in it.

The dictionary defines lascivious as…

1. Inclined to lustfulness; wanton; lewd.

2. Arousing sexual desire.

3. Indicating sexual interest or expressive of lust or lewdness.

This is also a wide sweep and who’s to say what thing will “deprave and corrupt” a person and what will not? The thing is that books, magazines and newspapers are well regulated and limited in number and that’s why it’s possible to go after them.

The Internet is a different ball game altogether and nobody has the resources to go after all the porn sites in the world. It’s like a million-headed hydra which is impossible to monitor and even if you manage to cut off one head, then many will take its place.

In fact it is for this very reason that the .xxx sponsored top-level domain was introduced and even approved by the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN) in 2011.

Most people in the world would agree that it is a good idea to ban porn sites altogether. However to do that is a task that is virtually impossible and also a great waste of any government’s time and resources!

(This article appeared in Sify.com)

When Lalit Modi ruled all the TV news channels…

Ek baar jo maine news manufacture kar di, uske baad to main khud ki bhi nahin sunta.
—Dabangg Arnab.

Legend says that if you stand in central London for long enough, then sooner or later you will bump into Lalit Modi.

Lalit Modi: Sports nahin…
Arvind Kejriwal: Politics nahin…
Pappu: Leadership nahin…
…sirf entertainment hi entertainment 24X7!
‪#‎ArnabGate‬

Indian Political League.
Lalit Modi can easily form 10 teams with all the politicians he wines and dines with.

Lalit Modi just launched the International Pandemonium League.
Nobody knows what the hell is going on anymore!

DLF IPL = Murkiest league of all time.
DLF owner son-in-law, Sonia daughter and former IPL chief meet in London amidst ‪#‎ArnabGate‬.
Congress: Coincidence! Coincidence! Coincidence!

Jab tak rahega samose main aloo,
Tab tak rahega Arnab ka resignation drama chaloo.
‪#‎ArnabGate‬

Next news hour will be…
Bhagwaan ke naam pe ek resignation de de re baba!

Kejri thinking…
Maine itna accha budget banaya!
Lalit ne overshadow kiya!
Koi na koi Modi hamesha meri vaat lagata hai!

It appears that 1 million people have met Lalit Modi, 1 lakh have helped him at some time or the other and 1000 do business with him on a regular basis.

Midas was not gold but turned everyone he touched into gold.
Lalit Modi is not tainted but turns everyone he touches into tainted.

Lalit Modi names BJP leaders.
–>LaMo! LaMo! LaMo!
Lalit Modi names Congress leaders.
–>Lame! Lame! Lame!

Arnab thinking….
2009: Stable Govt.
2010: I break CWG scam.
2014: I topple government.
Yippeee!!! Let me do it again!

Lalit Modi quotes on the Vadras…
Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, they walk into mine.

Tomorrow…
NaMo ka driver ka bhai ka bhateeje ka maalik Lalit Modi se mila!
The Nation wants to know why! I demand NaMo’s immediate resignation!

Indian politics went batshit crazy in 2011.
4 years on, it’s still getting madder.

Narendra who?
Lalit is currently the most famous Modi around!

And then he told all the politicians…
May he who has never met Lalit Modi cast the first stone!
And they all stood in silence with their heads hung in shame.

Congress-Media: Sushma Swaraj is tainted!
(LalitGate begins)
Lalit Modi met Vasundhara Raje.
Congress-Media: Vasundhara Raje is tainted!
Lalit Modi met Robert Vadra.
Congress-Media: Lalit Modi is clean!
(LalitGate ends)

It’s just a matter of time before Lalit Modi releases a 1990s photo of him posing with Mother Teresa.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

LalitGate-ArnabGate musings…

Lalit Modi is a one-man-team Kabaddi player who has touched everyone from every team.

Hamaam main sab nanga,
Lalit Modi ne liya sab se panga.

Priyanka Vadra met Lalit Modi. She should resign!
Resign from what? She’s done nothing in her life!
Then why does she have a government house and SPG cover?

The tables have turned.
2014…
We will throw all Congress leaders in jail!—BJP.
2015…
We will get all BJP leaders to resign!—Congress.

99% of Indian politicians would find themselves in jail if “Conflict of Interest” was a serious crime in the Indian Constitution.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Never-ending never-ending Pappu musings…

Sonia nahi ye aandhi hai, doosri Indira Gandhi hai.
Kejri nahi ye anarchist hai, doosra Laloo Yadav hai.
Rahul nahi ye Pappu hai, doosra Junior Mehmood hai.

Yesterday Pappu learnt E for Elephant in his nursery class.
That’s why all the political elephant quotes are out.

All of Pappu’s speech writers are double agents actually working for the BJP.

Q: Who are the most famous, powerful and influential Non Resident Indians ever?
A: Sonia, Pappu and Priyanka.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Delhi going to the dogs musings…

Rajiv—I will take India to the Computer Age.
Rao—I will take India to the Space Age.
Kejri—I will take New Delhi to the GarbAge.

Jaise monsoon Mumbai ko bandh karega,
Waise Kejri Delhi ko har mausam main bandh karega.

One promise will be kept…
AAP leaders: We will lead a simple disciplined life without privileges.
(That’s the kind of life you simply have to lead in jail!)

Jitender Tomar had 3 fake degrees.
1. BSc.
2. LLB.
3. Kejri’s honesty certificate from AAP Internal Academy.

Pappu won it for Modi in 2014.
Kejri will win it for Modi in 2019.

(New Delhi elections) haar ke bhi jeetnewaale ko Baazigar kahate hai.

2014: Pappu-Kejri fighting over PM’s chair.
2015: Pappu-Kejri fighting over Delhi kachra responsibility.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The AAP manifesto…

Hum Aam Aadmi hai.
(You know the Aam Aadmi of India wants perks, power & privileges and is a bit crooked too.)

Hum Adarsh waale log hain.
(You know, like the Adarsh scam.)

We respect women.
(We politely asked for their urine samples. The trouble started only after they refused.)

All chargesheeted politicians should be banned from politics.
(By the way all the chargesheets against us are false.)

Sheila Dikshit was a powerless CM who didn’t deliver results.
(Our situation is the same but then we are fighting Modi aren’t we?)

Modi is a dictator.
(So are we, but then its nullified because we are fighting Modi, right?)

We will solve all the problems of Delhi.
(But whatever went wrong after we came to power is because of Modi.)

We will give power, water, WiFi for free.
(But only if Modi gives all of that to us and that is why we are attacking him.)

There is too much violence in politics.
(But all our violence is against this very violence.)

We encourage criticism from our fellow party men.
(But first we kick them out of the party to make them free to criticize us.)

Please ignore the negatives and focus on our positives.
(For all our opponents, simply reverse this logic!)

Media should be put in jail.
(Only when they are criticizing us instead of praising us and promoting us for absolutely no rhyme or reason.)

It is our right to drive this country.
(Isn’t a u-turn part of driving?)

Every political party is arrogant, corrupt and relies for criminals.
(Including ours but we take the high ground because… because… well we have already taken the moral high ground haven’t we, so buzz off!)

Sonia is an angel and Modi is a dictator.
(I have taken my Supreme Leader’s permission to say this.)

Our motto is: Insaan se insaan ka ho bhaichara…
(But insaan sirf AAP main hote hain our woh bhi jo Supreme Leader ki baat maane.)

© Sunil Rajguru