Looks like Ekta Kapoor is the new consultant for the Nehru-Gandhi dynasty…
Indira ki bahu ro padi…
Rajiv ka beta chilla chilla ke Uttar Pradesh-waasiyo ke liye insaaf maang raha hai…
Priyanka ke do masoom bacche stage par…
Patidev Raabert desh ki janata ki sewa karne ke liye tayyar hai…
Zaalim opposition… Jhoothi Maya… Dhongi Akhilesh… Congress ki praja ke aankhon main aasu…
Yesterday: Hamaam main sab nanga…
Today: Hamaam ka sabun ka ek badiya soap opera bana do…
© Sunil Rajguru
Thousands of politicians swindle crores. Get away.
But common citizens get caught for paltry financial crimes.
Millions of common citizens watch porn regularly in office. Get away.
Ministers seen watching a few minutes of porn. Resign.
So there is some “perverted” sense of justice in this world!
∙ The CMP (Common Minimum Programme) that now defines the Karnataka BJP…
Corruption. Mining. Porn.
∙ In other countries, there’s a race to gain the higher moral ground.
In India, the race between all the parties is to see who gains the lower moral ground.
∙ Overheard in UP…
Who are you voting for? The 2G scamsters, the porn stars, the statue builders or the criminal backers?
© Sunil Rajguru
∙ God created air.
The ICT industry invented the mobile.
Raja pulled Rs 1.76 lakh crore out of thin air via the mobile market.
∙ Houdini made things vanish.
Goebbels mastered propaganda.
Sibal used propaganda to make the Rs 1.76 lakh crore vanish.
∙ BJP created a telecom policy.
Raja created a telecom scam.
Since the term “telecom scam” begins with telecom, it all started with the BJP.
∙ Lessons for corporate India…
Manager created mega scam.
CEO sacked manager.
CEO is 100% clean by virtue of the “Manmohan Principle”.
∙ The corrupt politician’s slogans…
Tum mujhe ghoos do, main tumhe license doonga.
Black money is my birthright and I shall have it.
The common man’s counter-slogans…
One de Maar-tamacha.
Inquilab Jootabad.
© Sunil Rajguru
∙ Hamaam main sab hai nanga,
Chahe bhrashtachaar ho ya communal danga,
Ab vote kisi ko bhi do sab “relatively” hain changa,
Ram Rajya nahin maili hai Ganga…
(Only caveat: Supreme Court se mat lo panga!)
∙ Sometimes I think of Manmohan Singh as the Dhritrashtra of Jaane Bhi Do Yaaro who must be saying in all his cabinet meetings, “Ye sab kya ho raha hai?”
One day he might as well say, “This is too much for me…” and storm off the stage…
∙ 9PM-11PM: Attack of the Clones!
Every politician/journo on every channel simultaneously.
∙ Today’s 2G scam TV debate coinage of the day:
Crony Capitalism Coalition Compulsions.
∙ 2G2G: Moving on to the Second Generation of 2G licenses.
∙ Telecom licenses have to be re-issued, policy has to be reworked…
If at first you don’t succeed TRAI TRAI TRAI again…
UPA looks like a TRAI-al and Error government…
∙ Zero Loss Theory is actually the Congress saying that they’ll have Zero Loss of Ministers no matter how many scams occur.
UPA = DOWNA.
∙ NDA = Now Dreaming (of power) Alliance.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Law 1: If you are given a kickback figure, then just put the mirror negative in front of it and it will become zero loss.
For example, CAG: +1.76 lakh crore.
Counter: -1.76 lakh crore.
Net result: Zero.
Science used: Mathematics.
Law 2: If a court pulls up an office, then only the office has been pulled up, not the head of the office.
For example, if the court pulls up the PMO, then the PM is squeaky clean.
Science: Logic.
Law 3: If a court pulls up a government policy, then the policy is at fault, not the government. Hate the crime, not the criminal.
For example, if the UPA Telecom policy is pulled up, then the UPA is not at fault.
Science: Logic again.
Law 4: Every cause has an effect.
For example, Effect: UPA 2G scam. Cause: BJP Telecom Policy.
Science: Philosophy.
Law 5: The Congress Party is the custodian of India. Any criticism is blasphemy.
For example, Even giants like Google and Facebook may be banned if they defy this law.
Science: Information Technology.
© Sunil Rajguru
Salman Rushdie: My JLF trip got cancelled.
Taslima Nasreen: My book launch got cancelled.
Telecom Operators: Our licenses got cancelled.
Mayawati: My statues got cancelled.
Cricket Fan: The Indian team stands cancelled.
General: My actual date of birth got cancelled.
Bhopal: Cancel the Olympic Dow sponsorship.
SRK: My slap stands cancelled.
Kapil Sibal: I will still cancel Facebook!
BJP: Cancel the 2009 Lok Sabha verdict!
Kodankulam: Cancel the nuclear plant this year!
© Sunil Rajguru