· I think it should be mandatory for the Chairman of the Press Council of India to have a degree in journalism.
· Sweet Dish: Kaju Katli.
Journo’s favourite sweet dish: Katju Kat-le.
· Media houses have a journalistic license.
Most journalists have a journalism degree/diploma.
Justice Katju, sadly, has neither.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
· Khurshid to Marines: Tum Italy jaoge to sahi, magar waapis kaise aaoge?
Marines to Italian Government: I think he doesn’t want us to return!
· US: Americans first. Italy: Italians first…
Indian Government: Err… since all the first places have been taken, we guess it’s Indians Last.
· Consequence=Merely an effect.
Doing nothing can be a consequence.
Sleeping can be a consequence.
Manmohan: Consequences if Italian Marines are not sent.
· Dear Manmohan,
“Unacceptable” is something you don’t accept, not something you say after accepting it.
· Not Khurshid’s fault. When Marines left, he told Italian Government…
“Woh jaayein Italy, woh aayein Italy, lekin laut kar bhi aayein Italy se!”
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
1947: Only Motilal’s son can save the nation.
1966: Only Motilal’s granddaughter can save the nation.
1984: Only Motilal’s great grandson can save the nation.
2014: Only Motilal’s great great grandson can save the nation.
Coming soon: Motilal’s great great great grandchildren have been born, so they will eventually become saviours too.
Elsewhere…
1948: Sheikh Abdullah will save Kashmir.
1984: Sheikh Abdullah’s son will save Kashmir.
2009: Sheikh Abdullah’s grandson will save Kashmir.
But there’s hope…
1967: Congress loses power for the first time in multiple States.
1977: Congress loses power for the first time at the Centre.
1984: Last time the Congress gets a majority on its own at the Centre.
1991: Last time the Congress forms a Government on its own at the Centre.
2004: First time a Nehru-Gandhi dynasty member cannot become PM despite having the numbers.
2014: Let’s hope many more records are created in this year…
© Sunil Rajguru
Rahul Gandhi: If I get married and have children, I will be status-quoist and will like my children to take my place.
Unsaid: The Dynasty is the status quo of India. It flourished before you, it is flourishing through you right now and it will flourish through Priyanka and her family even after you. All your talk is empty like this.
Shashi Tharoor: At school, we learnt to answer the questions. At college, we learnt to question the answers. Some of us went further, and questioned the questions.
Unsaid: And now you’ve gone even further: Your government arrests those asking the questions!
Justice Katju: 90% Indians are stupid.
Unsaid: The more you speak, the more people are convinced that you’re in the 90%.
Rahul Bose: We have to ask ourselves of the five or six of the rapists of the December 16, is there anyone who wants to change, who wants to reform…
Unsaid: A fraction of those raped go to the police. A fraction of those successfully fight it out in courts. A fraction of those secure convictions. Now you want even that microscopic minority to get away through change and reform?
Sheila Dixit: Even my daughter feels unsafe in New Delhi.
Unsaid: Why, has her VVIP security cover been revoked?
Sheila Dixit: If power bills are more, use less power.
Unsaid: If petrol prices are high, walk. If food prices are high, starve…
Rahul Gandhi: Power is poison.
Unsaid: That makes the Nehru-Gandhi dynasty the biggest antidote to poison in the world!
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Argument 1: Modi was guilty in Godhra.
If you can’t prove that, go to…
Argument 2: There is no development in Gujarat.
If you can’t prove that, go to…
Argument 3: The development figures of Gujarat are fudged.
If you can’t prove that, go to…
Argument 4: There is development in Gujarat, but it is totally lopsided, uneven and unfair.
If you can’t prove that, go to…
Argument 5: Progress in Gujarat has happened despite Modi, not because of him.
If you can’t prove that, go to Argument 1.
© Sunil Rajguru
· They would reserve 50% of all websites in cyberspace for SC/ST/OBC.
· They would allow online voting in the Lok Sabha elections. Booth capturing and rigging could be done seamlessly.
· During protests like the anti-corruption and anti-rape ones, they would simply shut the Internet down.
· Every website would have a compulsory pop up ad praising the Dynasty.
· They would rename it as anti-social media and anti-social networking.
· Critics would then call it the Misinformation Superhighway.
· They would claim that Nehru invented the telephone, Indira the computer and Rajiv the Internet.
© Sunil Rajguru