Category Archives: 25 things (or less)

8 suggestions for the ICC…

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I’m no expert, but as a humble cricket fan, here are my 8 suggestions to the International Cricket Council regarding changes I would like to see in international cricket:

1. Overhaul the entire umpiring system: A few hundred million people know whether the batsman is out or not. And the batsman, bowler and umpire don’t know it. That has desperately got to change. The third umpire brought some confusion and referrals didn’t help matters. How many referrals should be there? Three? Logically shouldn’t every decision be referable? So, why not re-engineer the whole concept of the field umpire and TV umpire? In short, the Third Umpire becomes the First Umpire.

Before you totally dismiss this offhand, here’s my proposal on how it should be done:

Imagine a room with 4 big screens and one big screen assigned to each umpire. Each umpire would be assigned just one task and his job would be to pass on that decision instantaneously to the field umpire via earphone or a flashing hand panel.

No Ball Umpire: Would just see whether it is a no ball or not. If so, he would have to immediately beep to the field umpire.
Wide Ball Umpire: Would just see whether it is a wide ball or not. If so, he would have to immediately beep to the field umpire.
LBW Umpire: Would check if the ball has hit the bat or pad or both and calculate the hawk-eye trajectory and beep the umpire immediately if it’s an LBW. (This could take time and maybe could have a referral system initially)
Fielding Umpires: Would check the validity of catches, 4s & 6s and run outs.
Chief Umpire: Would monitor all the umpires and would be from the current Elite Panel.
Field Umpires: Would either take the instructions through earphone instantaneously or there would be a remote panel, which would flash for No balls, Wide balls, LBWs, etc.

Now the field umpires would be made free to concentrate on other things like:
1. Discipline: Most of the discipline has to be decided on the spot. This should be the field umpires chief responsibility as all other decisions have been outsourced.
2. Chucking: Who better than the field umpire knows whether a ball has been chucked or not? The field umpire should be empowered towards that effect. He can best tell if the elbow has been used to impart energy to the ball or not. If a team opposes the decision, then it would be reviewed by an elite panel of umpires, but off the field.

2. Bring forced declarations into Tests: Despite all the innovations in Tests, a draw rules most of the time. If the pitch is too batsman friendly, then the batting meanders on. If the pitch is too lethal, then the game is over in three days and still everyone feels cheated. One way to change this would be to bring a forced declaration in the first innings only. That is, the batting team would have to declare after 160 overs. This will ensure that the second team bats on the second day. And mainly, the “limited” (or nowadays the “T20”) element would come into Tests. Teams would be forced to plan and regulate their innings and the best part would be if the batting team lost just 4-5 wickets after 140 overs. You would have a fine legal T20 blast in the middle of a Test match. Howzzat to liven up things?

3. Regulate ad breaks: How irritating isn’t it when your team’s bowler takes a wicket and they immediately go in for an ad break. The same thing happens when your batsman hits the winning shot. Right now if there are 100 overs, there are 100+ ad breaks. 20 more if wickets fall between overs. All I’m proposing is that the ad breaks be brought down by just 10-15%.

The Ad Break Regulation Rule: Whenever an opposition wicket falls or a home player hits a 4 or a 6, the ad break gets cancelled, especially if it happens to be the last ball of the over. Moreover, ad breaks are cancelled for 3 minutes after the victory moment.

The ad revenue would go down by a fraction but viewing enjoyment would go up by leaps and bounds.

4. Restrict Tests & ODI WCs to 8 nations: Let’s face it: Test cricket belongs to 8 nations only. The others will never catch on. Bangladesh and Zimbabwe are the prime examples. And now with the advent of T20s, it seems even more remote. Stick to the Permanent 8 permanently. And in ODIs, stop tinkering with the format. The 2003 World Cup went on for ages and in the 2007 World Cup, India and Pakistan were kicked out after playing just 3 matches each. The best format was the 1992 World Cup where only 8 teams were called and everyone played everybody. That was exciting and that should be the permanent ODI WC format.

5. Promote T20 in 32 nations: T20 is where the future is and where more countries can come in and compete competitively. In the T20 WC, you can have 16 teams. The ICC can stop promoting Tests and ODIs ranked 9-32 and actively propagate T20s. Have T20 series, triangulars, tournaments… T20 is the only form where the whole world can catch on and the ICC should go all out for that.

6. Have a Test World Cup: You’ll need only 9 Test matches to pull this off in a period of 2 months. Only the top 4 teams should be called and the semi finals and finals should be a 3-match series each. The No. 1 & 2 ranked teams would be the host nations for the semis and the No.1 nation for the final. That would ensure a sell-out crowd for the semis and even if the No. 1 team doesn’t reach the finals. The television ratings would still be high and it would be a commercial success.

7. Ban ODI triangulars and have T20 ones instead: One of the biggest failures has been the triangular ODI where usually a third weak team is called and the finals become a foregone conclusion. Why not have triangular T20 tournaments in every tour. In fact, a tour could be standardized. Say first have a T20 triangular followed by a 3-match ODI series followed by a 4-match Test series.

8. Set up an ex-Players Super Committee: Right now great cricketers are spread out in various roles in a disjointed way. Others criticize it from the outside. The best way to counter that would be the consolidation of great ex-payers. The Top 8 Test playing nations should nominate 2 players and set up a Super Committee of 16. While the current ICC management would remain the same, this committee would guide policy and handle tricky and controversial issues.

Parting Shot: I personally would want ODIs to be abolished and First Class games to be lessened.

The future belongs to Tests and T20s.

© Sunil Rajguru

Are you an Obsessive Compulsive Forwarder?

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There is a disease that afflicts almost all of us email users and we don’t even realize it. It’s called Obsessive Compulsive Forwarding (OCF). The moment we get a mail that’s not personal, we feel like forwarding it to as many people as we can. Thank God we don’t have to pay for every email we send!

But there are many reasons why I dislike this random forwarding without thinking…

1. Check your facts: Nowadays I’ve seen, an email forward has more weight than the Encyclopedia Britannica. And it’s almost like eGoebbels. Take a Falsehood in an email and forward it a million times and it becomes a Truth. The greater the initial falsehood, the greater the eventual truth. Some examples:

a. The Stanford Story: There’s one which begins: “A lady in a faded grey dress and her husband, dressed in a homespun suit walked in timidly without an appointment into the Harvard University President’s outer office…” It then goes to tell how a certain Mr and Mrs Stanford were rebuffed because of their appearance and went on to form the now famous Stanford University, with a tagline like: “Never judge a book by its cover” or “How our inner Ego sometimes misjudges a Person”.
Fact: Leland Stanford was the Governor of California and a very successful businessman! The President of Harvard would have needed an appointment to walk into Mr Stanford’s office. The truth is that Stanford merely enquired with Harvard on the cost of setting up a new university. How that morphed into the above story, God only knows.

b. The NASA Indians: Anywhere between 36-42% of people working with NASA are supposed to be Indians. This email has been floating for years. While people believing it is fine, last year a minister raised it in Parliament! While the minister raised a lot of flak and I thought I had seen the last of it. Then recently the li’l host of Sa Re Ga Ma Li’l Champs mentioned it again! Sometimes you’ve to use your head to verify facts. Aren’t there so many Indian Americans in the news nowadays? M Night Shyamalan, Bobby Jindal, Kal Penn, Kalpana Chawla…. That’s the result of a mere near 1% of America’s population being Indian American. 42% at NASA would be astronomical! For all you know, maybe it’s 3.6% and a typo made it 36% and that error got forwarded a million times!

c. Unique Bangalore: Then there’s one floating about how unique Bangalore is. For one Bangalore is the fastest growing city in Asia (I’ve been hearing that for 10-15 years now and I don’t know how it started. Bangalore usually comes as the second or third fastest growing city in India in most of the surveys I read, dunno about Asia.) It also says that close to half a million Bangaloreans are foreigners. Do a bit of Maths and you’ll find that that means every 12th or 14th person you see should be a foreigner. And yet I go for days without sighting a single foreigner in Bangalore! The last point is absolutely loony. “Bangalore is the city of girls, dogs and software engineers”. What crap! Girls, boys and dogs are present in every Indian city and town and software engineers are present in good numbers in Hyderabad, Pune, Gurgaon… How in heaven’s name can that be a unique fact?

2. Don’t wish your friends bad luck: Why are people so scared when they get a message saying: “If you don’t forward this to 10 people then a ton of bad luck will fall on you!”
Even the non-superstitious type fall for that. When you add the millions of mails that are forwarded like this, aren’t they merely spam? Plus most never forward these things, so when you send one to such people, aren’t you merely wishing them bad luck?

3. Obscenity and Modesty: There are some forwards which are plain obscene. It could be a very vulgar joke. Some people in your mailing list could be sensitive. Or if it is a really gruesome image, then what happens when the person checks the mail during lunch hour. Might he or she not feel like throwing up?

4. Privacy and Aesthetics: Finally, when you forward, an ugly looking Fwd: is attached to the subject line. Then another gets added… sometimes I see 6-7 FWds: in the subject line. What stops people from deleting all those Fwds and sending a clean subject line? Some people don’t even bother to delete all those email IDs that become part of the message. I definitely wouldn’t want my email ID going public! It takes just a little time to delete all those email IDs and forwards. You can also suppress your email list or simply email yourself and put everyone in the bcc field.

So next time you forward, ask yourself the following questions:
1. Is it factually correct?
2. Am I merely being superstitious?
3. Am I merely spamming?
4. Am I being obscene or offensive?
5. Am I giving out private emails IDs in a public forum?

Of course, if someone is an Obsessive Compulsive Forwarder, then there is no hope.
Just pray that email service remains free for life!
;)

© Sunil Rajguru

14 things to note while driving on Indian roads…

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traffic-671399_12801. The Bigger the Righter: Right of Way in four-wheelers means whichever is the bigger vehicle gets its way. So a mini has to give way to a sedan, which has to give way to a luxury vehicle, which gives way to an SUV. However, the bus overpowers all of these and nothing can beat a Horn OK Please truck, OK?

2. Gender Rule: Women drivers are really really bad.
Most men, however, are worse.

3. Absence Changes Everything: If there is no traffic policeman to be seen, then there are no rules in the first place. It’s not merely enough to be a strict rule follower: People around you will be breaking them Left, Right and Center. Accident main dono parties ko takleef hoti hain.

4. The Traffic Light Rule: An Amber Light is a Green Light. A Red Light is a Green Light for the first second.

5. The Jigsaw Puzzle: Traffic is actually a jigsaw puzzle. Whenever you see an empty space on the road, you have to fill it with your vehicle. For two-wheelers, this extends to the pavement when traffic is really dense.

6. It’s All a Test: Every day when you leave your home, you are actually entering a situation reaction test. Anyone in front of you (or behind you) may do anything silly at any moment. You are being prepared for some higher celestial traffic situation.

7. The Road Rage Rule: Save your anger. Hike your tolerance level. You will get a chance to get angry every 15 seconds on Indian roads. That means high BP and eventual heart attack. Save your anger for the really major foul-ups.

8. Be Aware: Keep track of fluctuating oil prices. Keep abreast of all the political developments. When you feel there is a price rise (or even the rumour of one) fill your tank a good 48 hours in advance.

9. The Pedestrian is King: Pedestrians have the ultimate right of way. No zone is out of bounds for them. They can appear suddenly from anywhere and sprint across the road. Remember, if you hit them, it’s ALWAYS your fault.

10. The Gymming Rule: When you go to a gym, forget about working out for your biceps and thighs. Do only exercises that will strengthen your feet, fingers and wrist. Remember: You will be hours at the steering wheel and pedals and only those muscles have to be preserved and strengthened.

11. When an Accident Finally Happens…: Come out with all guns blazing. “It’s not my fault” “It’s his fault…” Swear. When a crowd gathers, patiently explain to everyone how it wasn’t your fault. It’s all about perceptions, not realities.

12. Music or Mantra: Search for a Mantra that calms you. Search for the right music that soothes you. Now use them extensively!

13. Waterworld: Indian roads are prone to get flooded. Make sure your shoes/chappals are dry. If they are wet, they can slip off the pedals. Stick to the middle lane. Follow a vehicle rather than be beside it as wheels splash water. Especially stay clear of trucks and buses, which spray a lot of water. Don’t accelerate suddenly in a flooded area.

14. Small is Beautiful: If you think traffic congestion can’t get any worse, just wait for the Nano!

…and 5 things for the Bangalore roads…

1. One-way Rule: Any one-way may become a two-way overnight. Any one-way may become a two-way overnight. Always read all road signs even if you’ve been driving on the same route for 25 years.

2. Left is not Always Right: In certain areas (like Majestic) you have to suddenly become an American and drive to the Right. There is also a road with three lanes where the middle lane goes in one direction and the outer lanes go in the other direction.

3. The Congested Road Rules: If you have to cover a long distance on Hosur Rd, Sarjapur Rd, Old Madras Road… then keep a good stock of water, CDs and biscuits in your car and patience in your heart.

4. There is a place in Bangalore called Richmond Road Circle. On it there is a flyover. And that flyover has a Red Light on top of it.

5. If you don’t have a Karnataka registration, then get one fast, to avoid being stopped by traffic policemen again and again. Once stopped, you never know what issues may come up.

© Sunil Rajguru

10 things that may happen to us after we die…

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constellations-1851128_12801. Our memories and thoughts float for eternity in a void.

We live our life and collect memories, thoughts and dreams. When we die, everything perishes save these. In the void, we keep thinking, imagining, dreaming… till eternity.
Methinks… This is the earliest belief I had as a small child and it still sticks with me till this very day.

2. Each of us becomes a star.

I read in the foreword of a book by Arthur C Clarke that scientists had discovered about 100 billion stars. And 100 billion people have walked the Earth so far. That means there’s a star for every person who dies. Maybe that’s what happens to us. When we die, we become a star, mighty and big and full of energy, with the power of sustaining worlds. Grand isn’t it?
Methinks… If this is true, then I’d like to meet the dude who was once our Sun.

3. Don’t take yourself too seriously; you are merely part of a computer program for some higher entity.

This has been thought of in some form or the other in notably the The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and the Matrix series. We are all merely tiny cogs in a giant wheel of which none of us understand or will ever understand. What happens when a part perishes? Nothing. It just ceases to exist and is replaced by another part. You and I are merely “replaceable parts” my friend!
Methinks… This one is good. Enjoy this life while it lasts and don’t think of life after death.

4. Hello! Where are you? We are already dead!

This one was thought up by writers centuries back. We were part of a glorious existence before this life and we all messed up big time! That’s why we are here on Earth, which is actually the Hell of the previous world. We are doomed to be here in some form or other till eternity.
Methinks… This one also makes sense. I first heard it when I was very small.

5. We all become ghosts.

We all become ghosts and wander on this Earth indefinitely. The world is full of the ghosts of all the people, animals and creatures who ever walked this Earth. Since ghosts are made of zero matter and occupy zero matter, they all occupy the same space as we do. They are mere observers or maybe have a world very much like that of Septimus Heap. So right now I (who am writing this blog) and you (who are reading it) are surrounded by thousands of ghosts.
Methinks… Yikes!!!

6. We all join with the Great Soul.

There was a Great Soul of which we were a part. After death we go back and rejoin it. (An old concept in Hinduism) We were all part of a collective consciousness before birth and will become part of it after death. It’s all interconnected. The Web of Life et alia.
Methinks… That guy/gal I can’t stand is actually part of something of which I am a part?

7. We simply get recycled.

What happens to a car when we stop using it? It goes to the scrap yard. Then it gets recycled. Who knows which piece ends up where? Ditto with us. Some part of our body becomes the soil, the air, some animal… Our memories and thoughts get spread out too and become part of the consciousness of Mother Earth.
Methinks… It would be nice to travel simultaneously to many parts of the world in this manner.

8. Nothing.

That’s right. Nothing happens. We just cease to exist. There is no soul. Just as our body perishes, so does our mind, along with its memories, thoughts and desires. Like the last scene of the Terminator in the Terminator movie. Switch off. Blank.
Methinks… I am meeting a childhood friend today after many years who believed in this. Wonder what he thinks now.

9. Re-incarnation.

Re-incarnation Type A: You keep getting re-incarnated as a human being again and again and again maybe till the end of the world.

Re-incarnation Type B: You are a lower life form. Then you get re-incarnated into a higher and higher form, till you finally become a human. You’re one step away from God. (An old concept in Hinduism)

Re-incarnation Type C: Earth is just one in billions and billions of existences. You keep getting re-incarnated in all of them endlessly.

Methinks… It’s getting all too complicated for me.

10. Heaven. Hell. Judgment Day.

This is the oldest of the lot. You live a life on Earth. You do good deeds and bad deeds. Then you are judged on the basis of that and spend an eternity in heaven or hell (or purgatory).
Methinks… This is the least of all I believe in. Think over it. I don’t know about God’s timescale, but this universe will go on for billions of years. Imagine doing something for a few billion years based on something which you’ve done for 60-70 years. Sounds like an exam paper, very unGodlike. Then what about poor souls who died as babies. Then what are the rules of karma etc etc. Sounds like very complicated mathematics.

Then of course, there are many many more things which may happen to us which we can’t even begin to comprehend…

© Sunil Rajguru

6 Indian usages of English I can’t understand…

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When my father was posted in Deolali Camp, an officer told me, “There’s the right way, there’s the wrong way… then there’s the Army way!” Likewise, when it comes to English usage, “There’s the British way, there’s the American way… then there’s the Indian way!”

Here are 6 usages of English that are unique to India…

Lifer for life sentence: A life sentence is shortened to life. A person serving a life sentence is called a lifer. It’s as simple as that. Once when I was on a night shift in the Hindustan Times newspaper, the PTI news agency copy was headlined “Man gets lifer” instead of “Man gets life”. When I pointed out the mistake to my shift head, I was curtly told, “Who knows more, you or PTI?” So the mistake went in the front page. Slowly all the papers started carrying it and today it’s an honourable Indianism.
Note: No army can withstand the strength of a mistake whose time has come

Kindly do the needful: What does that mean? How exactly “needful”? Needful for whom? What if: What is actually needed is that your request be ignored. (What if: What is exactly needed is that you need a kick in the pants for making such a stupid request in the first place?). “Needful supplies”, “needful money”, …are hardly used, you just “do” the needful in India.

Sunil “at the rate of” email.com: The @ symbol has two meanings. The first is “at the rate of”, which is used in accounting in the form of “10 apples @ Rs 10 = Rs 100”. The second is simply “at”. sunil@email.com means sunil “at” email.com. Yet, people still continue to use “at the rate of” in their email IDs. Think over it, you sound like a commodity with a price on your head.

Shoppee: In the olden days it was called shoppe, but pronounced as shop, so it understandably got shortened to shop. I think Indians think it was pronounced as shop-eeee, so shoppekeepers write it as Shoppee.

German Shepherd and Alsatian are different: A German Shepherd is a type of dog. During World War I, it was renamed Alsatian Wolf Dog in England due to anti-German sentiment. In time, “Wolf Dog” was dropped and the usage spread to the Commonwealth (of which we are a part). So they are basically synonyms (something like the British versus American usage). However in India, I’m told by dog owners, “No this is not a German Shepherd, but an Alsatian.” (Or the other way round) In various versions, one is supposed to be blacker than the other or larger than the other or…

Two into two is four: How many times does two go into two? Once, right? Then how in heaven’s name is “two into two four”?

Then there’s the good ole good name (got from shubh naam) and creations like airdash and prepone. In my school, to bunk a class was to “dishu” it, whatever that meant. “I dishued class today” “Why did you dishu?” Nobody knows how that originated. Even the teachers used it! Another teacher used to ask us to open the windows to let the climate in. The same guy called the physics department his residence. So I guess every school, college and neighbourhood in India must have dozens of such gems tucked away.

Which brings me to the “The Indian English Snowflake Rule”…

Just as no two snowflakes are alike, no two Indians have the same English.

© Sunil Rajguru

5 Things I love about Delhi…

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delhi-1141306_6401. Bada hain to behetar hain: The King of Infrastructure

Compared to all other Indian cities, Delhi is a monster. Wide roads, fancy flyovers, huge parks, monuments, concrete jungles, multiplexes, universities, a forest ridge in the centre of the city… The list is endless. It’s a happening city full of festivals, plays, Pragati Maidan trade fairs and events. One never gets bored. The concept of NCR made it bigger and meaner. There’s the Metro to stitch everything up and cycle rickshaws if you want to cover shorter distances within a locality.
Trivia: Thanks to the 2010 Commonwealth Games, there will be underground roads, IGI Airport Terminal 3, power production upgrades, a Games Village next to the Yamuna and other expansions. Delhi received its first fast forward in the 1982 Asian Games. This is FF 2.0.

2. Cool cool winters: Dilli ki sardi humko bha gayi bhaya

Zero degrees? I’m loving it! I used to really look forwards to Delhi winters. The city looks beautiful and calm. You don’t have to worry about power cuts. Unlike the summers, you can actually counter it by blocking all the cracks in your home and covering yourself in sweaters, mufflers and jackets. There’s greater variety of vegetables and fruits while everything tastes better in the winters. A hot water bath is absolute bliss! But the best feeling is sleeping under two rajais and feeling as warm as toast. In summers, even stripping down to your birthday suit won’t help matters.
Trivia: Delhi has mainly the Himalayas to thank for its cold waves.

3. History history everywhere in every step you walk

Everyone has heard of the seven cities of Delhi. But do you know you visit them regularly? When you visit the Qutub Minar, you’re in old City No. 2 (Lal Kot). Siri Fort? City No. 3! You pass by Tughlaqabad? That’s City No. 4. Adilabad Fort: City No. 5. No. 6: Feroz Shah Kotla. Shahjahanabad could be called the 8th city, which encompasses Chandni Chowk and Lal Qila. The number of monuments like the astronomical Jantar Mantar, memorial Raj Ghat and India Gate are also huge. Old Delhi transports you to an old world charm whenever you visit it. Lutyen’s Delhi, which could be called the 9th city, offers a great contrast.
Trivia: Delhi in some form or the other has been around for more than 2500 years.

4. Markets markets everywhere and every type of shop

While malls are homogenizing most Indian cities, Delhi has a variety of markets, each with a distinct feel. There’s the upscale Khan Market and the down to earth Karol Bagh. Sarojini Nagar, Lajpat Nagar and Chandni Chowk markets have their own charms. Who can ignore the gigantic and unique circular Connaught Place with its very own claustrophobic underground Palika Bazar. But best of all is the Daryaganj Sunday book market. If you want to know what it feels like to swim in an ocean of books, then this is the place.
Trivia: For malls, one just has to go next door to Gurgaon, which boasts of 30-40 of them. Ambi Mall claims to be the largest one in India and Mall of India promises to better even that.

5. Food!!!!!!

a. Dhaba-Thela-Nirula: Sasta, sundar aur tikau

The dhabas and thelas of Delhi offer such variety and taste. Even the chai tastes better off a thela. Eating low cost is a highly tasty proposition. Despite all the multinationals, Nirula’s is still around and kicking and rocking, offering almost everything under the sun. HCF anyone?
Trivia: Nirula’s began as HotelIndia in Connaught Place in 1934.

b. Snacks ho to aise: Aloo Tikki and Sheekh Kabab

I could live on eating these every day. Have the aloo tikki just like that, in a chat or in a burger. The sheikh kabab too can be had plain or in a roll. Try eating these delicacies in any other city and you’ll get serious withdrawal symptoms.
Trivia: It is said that Turkic soldiers first grilled meat over fires with their swords, the first kababs.

…and 5 things I hate…

1. Summers that sap you of the will to live (Isn’t Hell full of blazing hot fires?)

You can counter the winters, but there is no solution to the summers. Simply no solution! It is terrible. Outside it’s hot, sweltering, sweaty, dusty and uncomfortable. At nights you have to shut the windows because of the hot air. Then there are the power cuts. You want to have so much lassi, juices, water outside, that you are sure to catch some sort of infection and that’s why summer also brings with it its sets of diseases. I also think tempers are greater in this season.
Trivia: The wind system of India brings the hot waves from Rajasthan during the summers. This is called the Loo.

2. An acute case of VVIPitis and it’s very contagious (My reach is longer than yours)

Everyone in Delhi is either a big shot, related to a big shot, thinks he’s a big shot, pretends to be a big shot or is sure that he’ll be a big shot one day. Flexing muscles, showing off, trying to put the other person down are all big put-offs.
Trivia: Delhi and Mumbai have roughly half the country’s crorepatis with Delhi the clear leader.

3. All fogged out (2020 vision? How about 0:0 vision!)

Oh God! How I used to hate Decembers and Januaries because of the fog! Flights get delayed and cancelled indefinitely. There’s a self-imposed curfew in the night. At night shifts in the Hindustan Times, I used to be the laughing stock because I used to wear a sweater, jacket, overcoat, muffler, warm hat… The reason was that I used to hang out of the car and act as navigator to the driver in the freezing cold. That would get me home in 2.5 hours instead of the usual 3.5 (in time to watch the sunrise, if there was one).
Trivia: If the visibility is upto 2kms, it is called mist and if the visibility is less than 1kms, it is called fog.

4. The city of (not so) magnificent distances (Bada hain to behetar nahin hain!)

Why is everything in Delhi so far away! If your office is one side of town and home the other, then half of your time is spent on the roads. Then there’s the maniacal drivers and road rage. If your friend circle is spread equally around the city, then you can kiss goodbye to your social life.
Trivia: Delhi is approximately both 50kms long and wide the and area is close to 1500 square kms.

5. Very poor IPR (This one’s the biggest put-off)

a. Aggression at every corner (Sab jhagadne ke liye kyun tayar rahate hain hamesha?)

That’s the very first thing that struck me when I started living in Delhi. Why is everyone ready to pick up a fight with you at all times? Whether it’s the autowallah, the bus conductors-drivers or the stranger you bump into a crowded market place? The same goes for your neighbours and colleagues. Is there something in the water that keeps everyone of the edge?
Trivia: Aristotle once said, “The inhabitants of extreme climate conditions are deficient in thought and technical skills …” Well in a way that’s true, no one stops and thinks… they just fight or argue. Aristotle also felt that those who have to cope with extreme cold are excessively aggressive.

b. Chauvinism of every kind (You name it, the city has it)

Delhi strikes me as a very male city. There is an underlying current of male chauvinism everywhere. In no city have I seen women so stared at or teased so openly or a visible hostility in the workplace towards women. Then there’s regional chauvinism too. You keep hearing the absolutely ridiculous “Oye Madrasi” and “Oye Bihari”.
Trivia: While India’s sex ratio is 944 females per 1000 males, Delhi’s is a lowly 821. That explains a lot of things. The crime rate against women is also double the national average.

© Sunil Rajguru