Sehwag on the commentary bench.
Gambhir on Team India bench.
#IndVsNZ #EdenGardens

(September 30)

Mainstream media’s name has become mud.
Call it maindirtystream media.
#MSMvsSM

(September 29)

SRK…

Release Raees at Id.
Sir, Sultan!
OK, Aug 15.
Sir, Rustom-Hrithik.
OK, Diwali.
Sir, Shivaay.
OK, Christmas.
Sir, Dangal.
OK Republic Day.
Sir, hit!
Raj Thackeray: RD pe Pakistani actress?

(September 25)

#BangaloreStudents
April-May: Summer Vacations.
July: Transport Bandh Vacations.
September: Cauvery Vacations.
October: Dussehra Vacations.
December: Christmas Vacatio

(September 22)

SRK Fandom Awards for his biggest fans?
Really?
After Shah Rukh Khan killed his biggest fan with his bare hands in his last movie?

(September 21)

If Modi wins in 2019, then in 2020 we will still be discussing UPA corruption.
#EmbraerScam

(September 14)

Number of Rs 100 crore films for certain actors…
Riteish Deshmukh = 4.
Abhishek Bachchan = 4.
Aamir Khan = 4.
Hrithik Roshan = 3.
Ranbir Kapoor = 2.
Saif Ali Khan = 1.
Shahid Kapoor = 0.

(September 13)

PoK = Pakistan occupied Kashmir.
PoB = Pakistan occupied Balochistan.
CoK = China occupied Kashmir. (Aksai Chin)
CoT = China occupied Tibet.

Front Page headline…
Girl sits on fast for toilets in her village.
(Details Page 5)
Flips the pages and comes to Page 5 in 30 seconds to see headline…
Girl calls off hunger strike as officials promise toilets in her village in a week.
Methinks: Wow, that was pretty fast!

(September 8)

Pakistan cricket continues to live in the extremes.
Tests: Best ever No. 1
ODIs: Worst ever No. 9.
Simultaneously.

(September 5)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru