September 2013 Status Updates

Laloo kachaloo bete kahan gaye the?
Fodder ke tokri main so rahe the,
Congress ne pyaar kiya has rahe the,
Courts ne laat maara ro rahe the.

(September 30)

Let’s get this straight.
If Candidate A gets 1 vote and all other candidates get Zero votes with 1 million clicking Right to Reject, then Candidate A still gets elected?
So what are we rejecting?

(September 27)

West Bengal had…
Ray, but no light.
Jyoti and darkness.
Buddha and no enlightenment.
Now they have…
Mamata without the Spirit of Love.

(September 24)

MS Dhoni probably has a World Cup/No. 1 crown for every new hairstyle he sports.
Let’s see what the Mohawk gets him!

(September 23)

Make no mistake about it, Advani still has PMS.
(Prime Ministerial Stress)

(September 21)

Pakistan is the ultimate Coalition Government.
The country is ruled jointly by political parties, the Army, the judiciary, terror groups and America.

(September 18 )

King Edward the 8th abdicated for the love of his life.
Crown Prince Pappu the 1st abdicated (the PM candidature) to save his own life.

(September 17)

The baton passed seamlessly from…
First time it’s been snatched: Advani–>Modi.
But Modi didn’t have much of a choice, did he?

(September 16)

Mulayam unhappy with Akhilesh.
Azam too unhappy.
Sonia unhappy.
BJP unhappy.
People unhappy.
Don’t worry—Just 4 more years of unhappiness.

With his past and now the latest chargesheet, N Srinivasan has all the right qualifications to contest the 2014 Lok Sabha elections.

For the Americans, How Syrians Die (via chemical or regular weapons) seems to be far more important than How Syrians Live.

(September 11)

Online, less than 1% are Trolls.
Yet they get 99% coverage.
For some, the glass isn’t 99/100th full but 1/100th empty.

(September 9)

We are peaceniks: USA.
Eastern Bloc
North Korea
+ Every piece of Earth.

(September 8 )

BJP is like the little brother who looks up to his big brother Congress, but sorely resents his success at the same time.

John Kerry.
1960s Vietnam: I oppose.
Gulf, panama, etc etc: I oppose.
2003 Iraq: I oppose.
2013 Syria: I…
(Sir, you are in charge!)

(September 6)

Dear Pappu,
Despite your best efforts, India ko abhi bhi gussa aa raha hai.
G₹ ₹ ₹ ₹ ₹ ₹ ₹ ₹ ₹ ₹…..

Whatever I learnt in my Civics classes has been subverted by this Government.
It was all a waste of time.

Obama: I got letters from 300 Indian MPs protesting Syria.
Aide: It’s Sonia, not Syria. Over some 1984 riots summons, I believe.

(September 5)

Air fares go up.
Airlines go down.
Turbulence in the air.
Turbulence in the markets.
Pilotless policies.
Air India in an air pocket…

Funny way of looking at it…
Syrian dying by government weapon: Illegal.
Syrian dying by chemical weapon: More illegal.
Syrian dying by American weapon: Legal.

(September 4)

Priceless logic…
1. Vanzara involved in encounter.
2. TV channels sure encounter is fake.
3. Vanzara says Modi not backing him.
Follows from 1, 2 and 3: Modi not saving fake encounter cop.
But TV news headline: Blow to Modi!

(September 3)

The Ostrich Nation…
Petrol problem. Curfew the pumps.
Economy problem. Point fingers.
Industry problem. Land Bill.
Rapes increasing. Ban porn.
Crores starving. Legislate food…

(September 2)

At this rate we’ll need to double the supply of petrol!
Moily: Then let’s halve the time it’s made available!
#PetrolCurfew #8to8NoPetrol

Bizarre: Women shouldn’t go out after 8pm.
More bizarre: Petrol shouldn’t go out after 8pm.
#Moily #PetrolCurfew

(September 1)

© Sunil Rajguru

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