July 2016 Status Updates

All-in-one Indian cities.
Venice during rains.
Celebrating Earth Hour during power cuts.
Ghost towns in the night.
War zones during the day.

(July 29)

Q: So what are your priorities after the coup?
Erdogan: Infrastructure.
Q: ?
Erdogan: Jails. I need many more jails. I don’t know where to put all these people!

(July 28)

#‎BangaloreStudents‬
April-May: Summer Vacations.
October: Dussehra Vacations.
December: Christmas Vacations.
July: Transport Bandh Vacations.

(July 27)

Being Human is totally incorrect.
On screen he’s Superhuman.
Off screen he’s Inhuman.
‪#‎Bhai‬

(July 25)

Christopher Nolan can still make Inception 2 and claim that Inception 1 was all a dream and the sequel is the real world movie.

Listen to a talk or interview and count to the number of times a person says “You know!”
It’s an epidemic.

(July 20)

#‎TerrorAxe‬
‪#‎TerrorTruck‬
‪#‎TerrorCar‬
‪#‎TerrorPlane‬
‪#‎TerrorCycle‬
‪#‎TerrorBelt‬
‪#‎TerrorShoe‬
‪#‎TerrorSuitcase‬
‪#‎TerrorUnderwear‬
‪#‎TerrorChildren‬

(July 19)

2004: Masti.
2013: Grand Masti.
2016: Great Grand Masti.
2018: Super Great Grand Masti?

Cook can break Sachin’s Test records.
Kohli/Amla can break Sachin’s ODI records.
Nobody can breaks Hobbs’ record of 61,760 First Class runs.

(July 16)

Why the 3 Khans never age…
Salman
1989 bachelor—Maine Par Kiya
2016 bachelor—Sultan
Aamir
1984 student—Holi
2009 student—3 Idiots
SRK
1996 Major—Army
2012 Major—Jab Tak Hain Jaan

(July 12)

The irony…
A living Saddam leads to tens of thousands of deaths.
A dead Saddam leads to hundreds of thousands of deaths.

Breaking the eardrums.
Breaking all logic.
Breaking the country.
Breaking the peace.
Breaking each other’s necks.
Anything but breaking news.

(July 11)

What if a lab finds more fat content in certain Indian foods than burgers and pizzas?
‪#‎KeralaFatTax‬

(July 9)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

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