Akshay Kumar…
3 100 crore hits every year.
Aamir Khan…
1 all-time blockbuster every 2 years.
Salman Khan…
Consistently giving mindless masala blockbusters since 1989.
SRK…
Hey! My name is also Khan!

(January 31)

India needs a lot of fiber in its broadband diet.

(January 27)

Real achievement was Independence.
Republic Day was just a completion of bureaucratic formalities.
That we celebrate Republic Day greater than Independence Day itself tells a story.

News—Nesta Carter tests positive for dope.
Result—Jamaican men’s 4X100 relay Olympic gold medal forfeited.
Headlines—Usain Bolt stripped!

(January 26)

Half the conspiracy theories in this world are true.
The only problem is we don’t know which ones.

(January 24)

Congress banned.
DMK nodded.
ADMK didn’t do enough.
Still Modi was targeted at protests.
Akela jaagega, baaki sab soenge?
#Jallikattu

(January 23)

Women are doing the worst in politics.
How many successful women politicians not part of a dynasty?

(January 21)

Mulayam-Akhilesh are still father-son.
This has been a smart #SurgicalStrike on Amar Singh, Azam Khan and Shivpal Yadav.
#UPPolls

(January 17)

Typical Arnab handle!
As of now @republic is being followed by 75K+ but is following exactly Zero people!

(January 13)

Priyanka Vadra is part of Congress Reserve Forces.
Has fun all the time and is recalled only for Election Duty. (Campaigning)
#UPPolls

2008: First Parsi to head Land Rover since 20th century.
2017: First non-Parsi to head Tata Group since 20th century.
#Chandrasekaran

(January 12)

Sequence of events…
1. Editors sold out.
2. Reporters didn’t fight.
3. Marketing department took over.
4. Owners got complete charge.
#Media

(January 10)

Looks like the brain cells of the entire Opposition has been #Demonetized.

(January 6)

In the last 10 years, India is the only country to have won all 3 ICC trophies and claimed the ICC No. 1 rankings in all 3 formats of cricket multiple times.
#BCCI

(January 2)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru