Subah ka bhoola agar shaam ko ghar waapis aa jaaye to use bhoola nahin votebank kahate hai.
#BSY
Mera naam hai Robin Hood Kejriwal.
I charge extra from the middle class and give free water to the poor.
(December 31)
Caveat for 2014…
If you think that only a Prime Minister’s son can become Prime Minister, then you are in fact supporting the caste system.
Anna Hazare takes help of Congress to pass Lokpal.
Kumar Vishwas: Gaddaar!
Arvind Kejriwal takes help of Congress to become CM.
Kumar, Vishwasghaat?
They were walking away from government formation but the voters started singing…
Bekarar karke hame you na jaaiye, AAP ko hamari kasam laut aaiye.
In the 1960s the Congress wanted to install a gungi gudiya on the PM’s chair.
They finally sort of got their wish in 2004.
#TheekHai
And Graeme Swann suddenly realized that he could no longer play international cricket in the presence of Sir Ravindra Jadeja and he decided to call it a day.
(December 23)
Moore’s Law: The number of transistors on ICs doubles every 2 years.
(Could reach its limit in 2014)
Congress’ Law: The size of our scams doubles tenfold every 5 years.
(Could also end in 2014)
Whom the Gods want to destroy politically, they pitch as a rival to Modi…
#Pappu #Advani #Nitish #Kejriwal
Boyzone: It’s only words, and words are all I have, to take your heart away.
PappuBoyZone: It’s only words, and words are all I have, to take your vote away.
Pappu gets out clean bowled.
At press conference he is asked how he is going to improve his batting.
Pappu’s answer: I know I didn’t hit a six!
(December 22)
It seems…
All Indian politicians have diplomatic immunity to protect them against all crimes committed on Indian soil.
Can everyone be wrong?
Maid–>Has FIR against her.
Devyani–>Wrong to have exploited maid.
US–>Wrong to strip search Devyani and stay arrogant.
India–>Wrong to have taken it lying down against US for so long.
Manmohan is an Economist who plays politics and a Politician who severely economizes on his vision, governance and strategy.
(December 21)
Developed country: When is 5G coming?
Developing country: When is 4G coming?
India: When is 3G scam coming?
Peter Principle: Everyone rises to his level of incompetence.
Politician Principle: Every leader rises way above his level of incompetence.
(December 20)
When he talks sense: Jairam Ramesh.
When he talks nonsense: jaiRAM RAMesh!
Every second day is celebrated by Pappu…
April 1, Children’s Day, Papa/Dadi/Pardada… birth/death anniversary, Mother’s Day…
Government + Opposition + Anna Hazare = Finally agree + Make law.
Arvind Kejriwal = Only dissent, probably saying, “I am the law”.
#Lokpal
1968…
Advisor: Here’s presenting the Lokpal.
Indira Gandhi: It’s a grand idea, son.
2013…
Sonia: So the Lokpal is passed.
Same advisor: And it’s passed by her grandson, sniff!
Ikde tikde chohikade,
Fakta aahe Khobragade,
Ekach topic of the day,
Tyaala ghyun thokaayacha sagdi kade.
#Marathi
Secularism in three easy steps…
Step 1: Throw a stone at Narendra Modi.
Step 2: That stone will bounce back and hit you really hard.
Step 3: Congratulations! That hit now renders you secular!
Outsourced!
Major decisions by AAP to the Delhi citizens.
(December 18 )
Congress announcing Pappu as the Prime Ministerial candidate will be the final knockout blow.
(Meaning the Congress will be knocked out, not the BJP)
(December 17)
Jab take rahega samosa main aloo,
Tab tak rahega Tamaasha-e-Laloo!
The Congress should rename their “Chintan Shivir” to “Chinta Shivir”.
(December 16)
Mahatma Gandhi’s last wish: Disband Congress.
Congress’ last wish: Disband India.
(December 15)
Section 377…
Pre-1947: Ctr-C + Ctr-V from England.
Post-1947: Don’t open file.
2009: Ctr-Delete.
2013: Ctr-Z.
(December 12)
Welcome to the Hotel Jailifornia,
Such a lovely place,
You can check in and out any time you like…
#SanjayDutt
(December 7)
Q: What is this Rayal-Telangana?
A: It is nothing but a royal tel lagana to the fire that is already burning in the form of protests and discontent.
Voters to Assembly…
If you confuse us, then we will punish you by hanging you.
(December 5)
So today’s Delhi Assembly election is like an intense three-way fight between Federer, Nadal and Djokovic.
(December 4)
Pappu campaigned in Bihar 2010, hit Chauka! (Congress got 4 Assembly seats)
UP, 2011: Hit Chakka! (They got 6 extra seats)
2014: Shatak maarega! (100 LS seats)
(December 3)
What Modi may have told Advani to convince him…
If you support me for PM in 2014, then I’ll support you for President in 2017.
Phases of Manmohan Singh…
1991: New Moon.
1996: Full Moon.
2004: New Moon.
2009: Full Moon.
2014: New Moon.
Key…
Full Moon=Light. New Moon=Darkness
Diggy Raja trashes the RSS.
Diggy Raja trashes the BJP.
Diggy Raja trashes Modi.
Diggy Raja trashes abc to xyz.
Bottomline: Diggy Raja is trash.
When a politician is caught, he’ll try a cover-up, cry conspiracy, try to run away, rubbish the media/victim, try to subvert the legal process and his skeletons will start tumbling out of the closet.
Oops sorry! Please replace “a Politician” with “Tejpal”!
(December 1)
© Sunil Rajguru