UP polls and other Congress musings of the day…

Incredible India…
1977: Sanjay Gandhi destroys all copies of film Kissa Kursi Ka.
2016: Sonia Gandhi makes Kissa Kursi Ka hero Uttar Pradesh Chief.

If Mrs Vadra finally heads UP campaign, headline should be…
Congress finally gives job to unemployed woman.

If Pappini campaigns for 2017 UP polls, media will go batshit crazy.
If she super flops then they’ll have a super relaunch for 2019.

The roles of Pappu and Pappini keep getting larger and larger with each passing year and yet they are still so teeny weeny.

Had there been social media in 1947, a totally exposed Nehru would have quit politics in disgrace by 1955.

Congress in UP…
Prez: Babbar.
CM candidate: Dixit.
Mascot: Mrs Vadra.
Strategist: PK.
Mentor: Pappu.
Overall boss: Sonia.

Raj Babbar will get voters a full meal in Rs 12 in UP and Congress will storm the elections.

Article 356 is Copyright of Congress.
BJP got royally hammered in Arunachal Pradesh on grounds of Copyright violation.

At 88—Advani hopes to be President.
At 78—Sheila wants to be UP CM.
At 50—Salman off/on screen bachelor.
At 46—Pappu fresh youth icon.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kyunki saas bhi kabhi pradhan mantri thee..

Looks like Ekta Kapoor is the new consultant for the Nehru-Gandhi dynasty…

Indira ki bahu ro padi…

Rajiv ka beta chilla chilla ke Uttar Pradesh-waasiyo ke liye insaaf maang raha hai…

Priyanka ke do masoom bacche stage par…

Patidev Raabert desh ki janata ki sewa karne ke liye tayyar hai…

Zaalim opposition… Jhoothi Maya… Dhongi Akhilesh… Congress ki praja ke aankhon main aasu…

Yesterday: Hamaam main sab nanga…

Today: Hamaam ka sabun ka ek badiya soap opera bana do…

© Sunil Rajguru

More general political musings…

∙ Yesterday: Sab quota politics hai.
Today: Sub-quota politics hai.

∙ There was this elephant in a dark room. Many wise men went and touched it. One touched the trunk, one touched the ear, another the tail and yet another the leg and so on…
Since they all touched different parts of the body, they all described it differently and started arguing violently over what the elephant really was.
Then the Election Commission came and ordered the elephant to be covered with a large cloth and told all the squabbling parties to go home!

∙ For the last 10 years, TV news channels have been singing…
Why this why this Narendramo D?

∙ First Indian planner: The divide between the rich and poor is increasing thanks to this great growth we are seeing.
Second Indian planner: Then why don’t we slow down growth itself to stop the rich-poor divide?

© Sunil Rajguru