The Sonia-Manmohan Raj ends…

Leader: Your RS term is coming to an end.
Manmohan: No I’m still a Rajya Sabha MP.
Leader: I meant Rubber Stamp term.

The Dynasty Trinity…
Jawaharlal: The Creator.
Indira: The Preserver.
Sonia: The Destroyer.

I&B Minister: We don’t need an I&B Minister.
After May 16…
Sonia: We don’t need a Prime Minister.
P.S. But we didn’t have one from 2004-14.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The end of Manmohan Singh’s Prime Ministerial term…

The story of Manmohan’s power as Prime Minister…
A 10-year-long power cut.

After May 16…
Manmohan to Modi: Can I continue hanging out at the PMO? Nobody ever notices me anyway.

Time to declare Manmohan the most powerful statue ever in our history and build a statue in the statue’s honour.

Manmohan: How will history remember me?
Citizen: Remember? Most of the times we forgot we even had a Prime Minister for the last 10 years!

The 10-year-term of the most power-fool leader in India’s history is coming to an end on May 16.

Sigh! My 10 years paid vacation is coming to an end.
#MMS #TheekHai

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Manmohan Singh’s last days as PM…

Army chief gaya BJP main yaar,
Home Secy bana saffron star,
RAW chief bhi gaya us paar,
Mera bhai bhi ho gaya faraar,
Abki baar Modi sarkaar.

If Einstein was alive, he would have said of Manmohan…
Generations to come will scarce believe that such a one as this ever in flesh and blood walked upon this earth without a spine.

“I feel very sad. I have no control.”
—Manmohan Singh on his brother joining BJP.
But that also applies to scams, economy, defence, security, governance and just about everything else.

Manmohan Singh: My brother joined the BJP.
Priyanka Vadra: Lucky you! Unfortunately mine joined the Congress.

Manmohan Singh’s final words…

2004: I am ready to work under Madam.
2009: I am ready to work under Pappu.
2013: I am ready to work under Pappini.
2014: I am ready to work under Modi.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Our dear ole accidental Prime Minister…

Sanjaya Baru calls Manmohan Singh an accidental Prime Minister.
Par accident to India ka hua na?

Sanjaya Baru’s book is fiction: PMO.
That Manmohan was ever PM itself is fiction: Citizen.

Manmohan Singh’s biography…
The Accidental Prime Minister.
Rahul Gandhi’s biography…
The Accident.

MMS = Minion of Madam Sonia.

Baru ne kee MMS pe vaar,
Abki baar Modi sarkar.

Jag main sundar do hai naam,
Chaahe remote control kaho ya rubber stamp.
—Sonia Mata.

1992: Everyone knows Babri demolition planned.
2014: Breaking News! Babri demolition planned!
2004: Everyone knows MMS is Sonia stooge.
2014: Breaking News! MMS is Sonia stooge!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When Manmohan Singh finally spoke…

MMS speech…
Main #TheekHu
Pappu #TheekHai
UPA #TheekHai
Corruption #TheekHai
Economy #TheekHai
Modi #TheekNahinHai
Vote for Congress in 2014.
UPA3 zindabad!

MMS: I want Pappu to become PM so that history will then judge me as the second worst PM ever and not the worst!

Q: How do you know Modi will be a “disastrous PM”?
MMS: Well, I’m the best judge as I have been one for 10 years now ain’t I?

Apparent MMS logic…
Scams of UPA1 are OK because we got re-elected in 2009.
Scams of UPA2 are OK because Modi will be a disastrous PM in 2014.

Arvind Kejriwal: Yeah! I am finally trending above Narendra Modi!
Alok Nath: Bitch please!
Manmohan Singh: My one boring speech can change that, #TheekHai?

Every night Manmohan Singh stares at the 2009 giant spoof poster “Singh is King” in his bedroom, sighs and goes to sleep.

MMS statement…
Scams in UPA1 are OK because we got re-elected in 2009.
So if you don’t get re-elected in 2014, then you are guilty of scams of UPA2?

Future tense…
Modi as a PM will be a disaster: MMS.
Present tense…
MMS as a PM is a disaster.
Past tense…
On hindsight, even UPA1 was a disaster.

Manmohan: Pappu beta, tu PM banega?
Pappu: #TheekHai.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The full form of “Manmohan Singh”…

Main azaad nahin hu!

Army chief retire ho ke bhi mujh pe waar kar raha hai!

Nuclear Deal ki victory hai kisiko yaad?

Modi ka pressure ab sahan nahin hota!

Oil prices, inflation, high taxation ka magic wand kahan hai!

Hai hai abhi bhi sab #TheekHai.

Andimuthu Raja ye tune kya kiya!

Nahin! Main Coalgate aur koi scam ke bare main kuch nahin jaanta!

Shehzaade ke neeche kaam karne ke liye main tayar hu!

Information ka Right ko bahaar pheko!

NREGA ke oopar Food Bill? Ab tijori khaali!

G se bahut dar lagta hai… 2G, CWG, CAG, Soniaji, Rahulji…

Hazaron jawabon se acchi hai meri khaamoshi.

This version by Sunil Rajguru