How to tell what type of cricket match is going on…

You know…

…a Test match is going on…
…when purists are shouting “Test cricket is not dead!”… “Test cricket is not dead!”…

…an ODI match is going on…
…when people in the office are glued to the computer screen and are alternately looking depressed or screaming.

…a T20 match is going on…
…when you get stuck in a traffic jam on your way back from work and you end up missing the entire match due to that.

…the IPL is going on…
…when there’s a sudden spurt in controversies, inane sports ads and there’s more tamasha than actual cricket going on.

…a First Class match is going on…
…actually you never know about it even though there’s some match going on throughout the year all.

…the Women’s Cricket World Cup is going on…
…when a host of experts across all news channels are bemoaning low viewership of women’s cricket.

© Sunil Rajguru

Those responsible for the current debacle of Indian cricket…

The BCCI: For only being interested in money, being distracted by the IPL fiasco and not giving the team enough time to prepare for the T20 World Cup.

The Selection Committee: For selecting the wrong team and going by past reputations only.

The Coach: For not setting the correct WC strategy and not pushing hard enough.

The Captain: For his on-field decisions.

The Trainer and Physio: For not succeeding in keeping a fit team.

The Players Themselves: For not being fit, not fielding properly and not being 100% committed.

The IPL: For introducing fatigue.

Australia, Lanka and Windies: For playing better cricket than India and beating them.

The West Indies Board: For not making flat pitches.

Fortune: For not shining on India.

The Media: For going after the players, distracting them, not giving them support and demoralizing them.

The Fans: For having unrealistic expectations in the first place.

Itna sab galat hain!
And you actually thought that India was going to win the World Cup?

© Sunil Rajguru

You know you’re a 2020 addict when…

1. Whenever there’s any cause for celebration in your life, you wonder where all the cheerleaders are.

2. You watch the first session of the first day of the Test match and put it off after that thinking the match has ended in a draw.

3. In the office you feel the need for a “Strategy Break” every hour or so.

4. You’re totally bored out of your skull when you watch an ODI.

5. Being a Bangalorean, you involuntarily start for cheering for Jacques Kallis in an India-South Africa match.

6. You look at Royal Challenge Premium Whiskey and think there’s a spelling mistake: Where’s the missing r?

7. You put SetMax on at 9pm and wonder why the hell they are showing an old Hindi movie.

8. You were a Shahrukh Khan fan before IPL2 started, but you can’t stand him any more.

9. You call every Delhiite you meet a Daredevil and every Chennaiite a Superking.

10. You Google search Bradman’s 2020 average.

11. You watch an India-Australia match and are surprised to find out that Warne, Gilchrist and Hayden are all retired.

12. You think Mahendra Singh Dhoni is a Tamilian.

13. You vote for Vijay Mallya for Businessman of The Year Award because his team made it to the IPL finals.

14. You start buying Deccan Chronicle because Deccan Chargers won the IPL.

15. You suddenly want everything in your life to be quicker and shorter and more exciting.

© Sunil Rajguru