The UPA scams just go on and on…

Economic Reforms.
1. Rao.
2. Vajpayee.
3. Modi.
That’s it.
Manmohan was merely initially Rao’s assistant and then Sonia’s.

Axis Bank in the news for all the wrong reasons post #Demonetization.
Fun fact of the day…
Manmohan inaugurated the first Axis Bank then UTI Bank) in 1994.

Father of Acidic Reforms. (Spoilt politics)
Father of Uneconomic Reforms. (Corruption)
Anything but Father of Economic Reforms—That was Rao.

Father of Bionic Reforms. (Robot)
Father of Anaemic Reforms. (Low energy)
Anything but Father of Economic Reforms—That was Rao.

Manmohan Singh is 84.
And he still has to dance to Madam’s tunes.
Ghulam till I die!

Aam aadmi = Lakhpati.
Middle class = Crorepati.
Trader = Arabpati (100 crores).
Industrialist = Kharabpati (10,000 crores).
All scamsters = Neelpati (10 lakh crores).

Coal Minister innocent in Coalgate.
Economic whiz innocent in 2G.
Guess he’s snow white despite signing AgustaWestland files.

Deve Gowda was the Humble Farmer.
Manmohan Singh was the Fumble Harmer.

To think that Sonia and Manmohan knew absolutely nothing of all the umpteen scams that took place during UPA rule is the height of naivety.

100 scams under Sonia’s UPA—They leave her totally alone. Totally.
Any move Modi makes big or small—Go batshit crazy & attack: Sparta!!!

UPA did 0/10 things.
No outrage for first 7-8 years.
Modi does 5/10 things.
A. He’s doing these 5 things wrong.
B. Why isn’t he doing the other 5 things?

Sonia’s UPA did scam upon scam and no-one attacked her, investigated her or went after her.
Modi’s every bold positive move is attacked viciously.

With the way he’s blabbing non-stop, looks like the P in P Chidambaram stands for Pappu.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Why nobody is responsible for UPA scams…

Q1: Who was Coal Minister when Coalgate happened?
Q2: Who was Atomic Energy Minister when Thorium scam happened?
Q3: Who was Space Minister when ISRO scam happened?
Q4: Cash for votes helped which Prime Minister?
Q5: Who was Prime Minister when 2G, CWG, DIAL, Radia… scams happened?
A1/2/3/4/5: Manmohan Singh is the cleanest and most honest politician in the history of Independent India.

Q6: Then who is responsible?
A6: Since Manmohan is the cleanest and most honest politician in the history of Independent India and Sonia Gandhi wasn’t ever Prime Minister, nobody is responsible.

Q7: Raja claims he was taking orders from Manmohan. Can he be considered guilty?
A7: Since it is claimed that Manmohan was taking orders from Sonia, again, nobody is responsible.

Q8: What about the National Herald scam?
A8: Where is the scam?

Q9: Where did all the scam money go?
A9: Precisely! Nobody saw the scam money go anywhere and hence there was no scam money.

Q10: Where are the fabled acche din?
A10: Are you kidding? For scamsters they started in 1947 and are still continuing. Come to think of it, they really began during British rule!

Parting shot…
Good governance has many fathers but all scams are orphans.

© Sunil Rajguru

Why you can’t “punish” an Indian politician…

It’s tough to catch an Indian politician committing a crime.

If caught, tougher to chargesheet him.

If chargesheeted, even tougher to convict him.

If convicted, even more tough to uphold conviction in all higher courts.

Finally, even if the Supreme Court convicts him, then all he has to do his convert his prison cell into a virtual hotel room and bide his time to enjoy a relaxed retired life with all that black money.

In all of this where’s the punishment and where’s the reform?

So the question is, why won’t an Indian politician scam, loot, murder and be super arrogant?

© Sunil Rajguru

Twisted quotes to suit scam India…

Satyam scamam sundaram.

Thorium hai thorium ki zaroorat hai.

2G or not 2G, that is the question.

I love you C.. C… C… Coalgate!

DIAL S for scam.

Tum mujhe cash do, main tumhe (Lok Sabha) votes doonga.

Kar chale hum fida saara dhan saathiyo,
Ab tumhara hawala watan sathiyo.

Arre huzoor, wah Taj scam boliye!

Mera Adarsh hai ek scam.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Ye tera scam, ye mera scam…

Please sing to the tune of Ye tera ghar, ye mera ghar from the Bollywood movie Saath Saath

Ye tera scam, ye mera scam, kisi ko baat-na ho agar,
To pahale aake dede mera share, uska share,
Ye tera scam, ye mera scam, ye scam bahut haseen hai,
Ye scam bahut haseen hai, ye scam bahut haseen hai.

Na CBI ke chhaaon main, na kisi police chowki ke gaaon main,
Na pakadne ke raaste bane hain iske vaaste,
Magar ye scam ajeeb hai, zameen ke kareeb hai,
Ye dollar-Rupee ka scam hamaari hasraton ka scam,
Ye tera scam…

Jo “1 lakh crore” nahin to kya ye rosihni hai hamare chhoti tijori ka,
Saare rishtedaaron ke khwaab khil gaye to fikr kya bahaar ki,
Hamaare ghar na aayegi kabhi khushi imaandaari ki,
Hamaari raahaton ka scam, hamaari chaahaton ka scam,
Ye tera scam…

Yahan mahak bewafaaon ki, bhrashtachaar ka rang hai,
Ye scam tumhara khwaab hai, ye scam meri ummang hai,
Na aarzoo pe qaid hai, na hausle pe jung hai,
Hamaare hauslon ka scam, hamaari himmaton ka scam,
Ye tera scam…

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru

(Original song: Ye tera ghar, ye mera ghar.
Film: Saath Saath.
Year: 1982)

Congress corruption musings…

· The Cabinet has just converted the Constitution’s “Collective Responsibility” principle into a “Collective Irresponsibility” one.

· All Nostradamus prophecies have to be edited…
Prophecy: Man with blue turban will rule the world.
Edited version: Man with blue turban will rule the corruption world.

· Fact 1: If all corrupt Ministers quit, Cabinet would be empty.
Fact 2: It wouldn’t make a difference, next lot would loot more to catch up.

· There is a threshold amount beyond which scamsters cannot be caught.
All Congressmen are above the limit and all others are below it.

· People share a love-hate relationship with the Congress.
Hate their corruption and arrogance, but still love to vote for them.

· Right now the relatively few clean central ministries are being pulled up for not meeting their Corruption KRAs.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru