Thak Thak Chutkule 8

Thak Thak.
Kaun hai bhaaya?
Cyrus kaun?
Sahi raste pe jaa raha hain, chinta mat karo,
Tata nahin to kya, wohi pariwar ka hain bhaaya ye Mistry.

Thak Thak.
Kaun hai bhaaya?
Raja kaun?
Raja ka to baj gaya tha baja, par ab Chiddu bhi jaayega bidu, but money on Kani finally getting bail.

Thak Thak.
Kaun hai bhaaya?
Haqqani kaun?
Haq nahin sarkar ke paas lagta hain,
in fact sabka haq knees pe aa gaya hain us desh main.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

How the Con grass grows below their feet…

There has been a total Pawar failure…

Great problems with Raja Yog…

Thanks to the 2G, lagta hain ki is government ka Maran aa gaya hai

That man keeps Singhing and Digging the party’s grave…

The response to Civil Society was totally UnSibalized

The spokesmen have totally Tewarized the nation…

There has been a great amount of Mamata lost between the allies…

The Government was doing so fine in 2009, the problems were almost overcome: Sonia and yet so far…

Ab to kisi ka bhi Man nahi moh liya, Singh is no longer King….

Singh is SinKing? Singh is BreaKing? Singh is ConKing? Singh is ChoKing? Singh is CracKing? Singh is PanicKing? Singh is BacktracKing? Singh is HoodwinKing? Singh is ShaKing? Singh is SulKing? Singh is ShrinKing? …

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

A new way to measure wealth in India…

If you have Rs 33 per day in India, then you are rich.

There are 121 crore Indians.

So with Rs 3993 crores, you can make each and every Indian rich for a day.

A Forbes billionaire can make every Indian rich for approximately a day.

Hasan Ali can make every Indian rich for about a fortnight.

Mukesh Ambani can make every Indian rich for about a month.

The only person who can make India rich for more than one month is Andimuthu Raja.

Bottomline: So how wealthy are you?
That depends on how many Indians you can make rich for how many days.

This version by Sunil Rajguru

First DMK, then ADMK, now ARDMK…

New party launched in Tamil Nadu called ARDMK.

ARDMK stands for…

Andimuthu Raja Dayanidhi Maran Kanimozhi party.

Motto: United by 2G and unfettered by zeroes.

Strengths: Unlimited funds.

Ideology: Totally mobile across any political spectrum.

Engineered Independent India’s biggest ever exposed scam. All founders chargesheeted and two jailed.

Future Outlook: Waiting for the famous Tamil Nadu anti-incumbency in 2016, by which time all chargesheets, jailings and scams would have been forgotten.

This version by Sunil Rajguru

India’s corruption pyramid…

India has a very elaborate corruption pyramid.

At the very bottom is the largest base: All those millions of corrupt people. From the top politicians with their fancy Swiss bank accounts, down to the peon who’ll take a few notes to make sure you meet the babu.

At the second level are the people you think are corrupt. Whispers surround them, but by and large they lead nice corrupt and peaceful lives for life.

At the third level are people who stand exposed. At the local level everyone knows about them. Complaints have been made to no avail. At the national level, they are the stars of 24X7 news channels.

At the fourth level are those who are actually arrested. Yes, the pyramid is really getting narrower now.

At Stage 5 are parked those arrested corrupt entities who have charge sheets filed against them and actually appear in front of a judge.

Level 6: Long-drawn cases and in the unlikely event of a verdict, appeal and movement to a higher court.

Level 7: Bingo! A corrupt official is actually convicted and goes out to serve his full sentence.
(Of course, if you think 8-10 years in a furnished prison cell with mobiles and TV is enough for swindling thousands of crores, then it’s a success. The concerned person is free to retire to Switzerland to spend comfortable last days there.)
I’m sure there must at least be one really corrupt national politician at the top of this pyramid, though I somehow can’t seem to recall him or her right now.

(P.S. Congratulations former telecom minister Mr Andimuthu Raja, for whizzing from Levels 1 to 4 in a matter of years. Now is the time to relax and maybe retire, for you may be stuck in this level for life! Even the next two levels aren’t that bad, though.)

© Sunil Rajguru

Contemporary Nursery Rhymes for Modern India

Ba Ba Black Marketeer, have you any onions?
Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full!
One for the hoarder, one for the middle man, one that’ll get rotten and thrown down the drain…
…but none for the little citizen who lives in India’s every lane!

Little Miss Gandhi,
Sat on a turret,
Counting her achievements of the day;
Along came a scamster,
Who sat down beside her,
and frightened her voters away.

Raja! Raja! Yes papa!
Eating spectrum? No papa!
Open your passbook.
Ha! Ha! Ha!

This version By Sunil Rajguru