AAP’s free promises explained…

We will provide 15 lakh CCTV cameras (for our 15 lakh AAP supporters to conduct non-stop stings), free Wi-Fi (so that the 15 lakh stings may be passed about seamlessly), free power (so that the computers and mobiles never go off during these sting operations) and free water (so that hum sab chullu bhar paani main doob sake 2020 main).

Meanwhile our Internal Lokpal will be busy adjudicating these stings and never have time to focus on real issues and at the same time we will give millions of hours of free entertainment to all the hundreds of TV channels in India so that they will never ever focus on our governance or political misdeeds.

(Come to think of it, we should register ourselves as an entertainment company instead of a political party and we’d all be multi-billionaires in no time!)

© Sunil Rajguru

Aam Realignment Party…

After the latest sting, AAP calls horse trading as “political realignment”.

More suggestions…

Corruption = Economic realignment.

Not keeping promises = Verbal realignment.

U-turn = Reverse realignment.

Attack on BJP office = Realignment of stones.

Kicking out top leaders = Human resources realignment.

Kejriwal’s infamous dharna on the roads = Realignment of CM’s work space.

Khirki Extension raid = Realignment of blood and urine (samples).

Kejriwal running away from Delhi to Varanasi = Geographical realignment.

Kejriwal running away from Varanasi to Delhi = More geographical realignment.

Future power cuts = Realignment of electricity.

If taps go dry = Realignment of water.

Use of private plane instead of normal plane = Aerial realignment.

Anarchy = Non-stop democratic realignment.

Dubious funds from abroad = Global economic realignment.

Making Delhi government bankrupt and asking help from Centre = Realignment of funds.

Lying = Realignment of truth.

© Sunil Rajguru

When there was a sting in the AAP…

Whether they have 0 or 28 or 67/70 seats, their entertainment value is 100/100.

2013: Kejriwal quit in 49 days.
2015: Everyone else will quit within 49 days.

There were chain letters.
There were chain emails.
The current rage in AAP is chain stings.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Arvind the not so Aam Aadmi…

Yogendra Yadav-Prashant Bhushan…
2013—We are fighting the tyranny of UPA2.
2014—We are fighting the tyranny of Fascist Modi.
2015—We are fighting the tyranny of our honourable Supreme Leader.

Aam Aadmi–>Senior Aam Aadmi–>Chief Aam Aadmi–>Khaas Aadmi–>Honourable Supreme Leader.
(Meanwhile YoYa and PrBh demoted to Junior Aam Aadmis)

Wait for Pappu to take over, then those sidelined from the BJP, AAP and Congress can launch the ABCD Party—AAP BJP Congress Discards.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The Diggy Raja Doublespeak Show of 2011

After reading Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland, Diggy Raja turned to George Orwell’s 1984 and was quite impressed with the whole concept of Doublespeak…

Prashant Bhushan attacks corruption… The BJP is backing him!
Prashant Bhushan gets attacked… The BJP is beating him!

Anna Hazare attacks RSS… He is lying!
RSS backs Anna Hazare… They are telling the truth, hence proved that Anna Hazare was lying as my previous statement showed!

Manmohan Singh as PM… He is the best PM and so should stay.
Rahul Gandhi as PM… He will be even greater and so should become.

On Anna Hazare… Anna is RSS RSS RSS!
On Team Anna… Anna Hazare is an honest and simple man. People are misusing his name.

On Anna Hazare’s fast… We will give him the Baba Ramdev treatment!
On Sanjiv Bhatt’s arrest… This is a burning example of fascist thinking and fascist government.

Chidambaram and Naxalism… He is intellectually arrogant.
Chidambaram and corruption… Sangh has made him a target.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru