In India you have to be single to rule…

modi-7753158_1280Jawaharlal Nehru was Prime Minister from 1947-64. He was a widower. Kamala Nehru died in 1936.

Indira Gandhi was PM from 1966-77 and 1980-84. She was a widow. Feroze Gandhi died in 1960.

PV Narasimha Rao was PM from 1991-96. He was a widower. His wife Satyamma died in 1970.

AB Vajpayee* was PM from 1996-96 and 1998-2004. He was a bachelor.

Sonia was Super PM from 2004-14. She is a widow. Rajiv Gandhi died in 1991.

Narendra Modi is a bachelor/single, depending on how you look at it because he was a victim of an illegal child marriage which did not go forward.

That covers about 65/77 years of India’s Independence.

*The run up to 2004 was interesting because Vajpayee was PM, bachelor APJ Abdul Kalam was President and Sonia was Leader of the Opposition.

10 things that could happen if Narendra Modi became Prime Minister of India…

1. Every price rise, inflationary trend, national tragedy… would be prefixed with “In a blow to Modi…”

2. Every Government scheme would be prefixed with “Sonia unhappy as…” or “Advani disappointed as…” or Rahul angry as…”.

3. Some would be tempted to call him “Alleged Prime Minister”.

4. The media would announce that they are no longer government stooges but “proudly anti-establishment”.

5. The Ministry of External Affairs would hold Passport/Visa Help camps all over the country to help all those people who threatened to quit the country if Modi became PM.

6. The Modi Industry would seek FDI to keep afloat.

7. MPs would petition the Nobel Committee to revoke Barack Obama’s Peace Prize if he invited Modi to the US.

8. Critics would start counting the years in terms of AG (After Godhra).
For example…
Modi became PM of India in 12 AG.

9. His supporters would start calling him Mahatma Modi.
(Jab critics bina wajah ke use gira sakte ho, to fans bina wajah usko chadayenge kyun nahin?)

10. Alternatively, such scenarios could be also become common…
Anchor: And in a blow to Modi…
(Aide whispers into anchor’s ear: Sir no more Bharat Nirman ads. All Congress funding has dried up.
Anchor: Do you think BJP will do the same and oblige us?
Aide: Why not try it out?)
Anchor: And in a blow to Sonia…

© Sunil Rajguru

The biggest question…

In the last couple of years in politics…

Biggest scam: Coalgate.

Most high profile scam: 2G.

Biggest contradiction: MMS is Coal Minister and economic whiz (2G) and yet not accountable.

Biggest scam to claim a CM: Adarsh.

Most scams: UPA2. (All-time record)

Most powerful person: Sonia.

Biggest irony: Sonia gets minimum blame.

Most narcissist leader: Maya. (Statues! Statues! Statues!)

Most paranoid leader: Mamata. (Maoist! Arrest them! Conspiracy!)

Most arrogant: The average Congress spokesperson.

Most Draconian legislation: Section 66A.

Most idiotic statements: Diggy Raja.

Most reluctant leader: Pappu.

Most high-handed action: Water cannons against the anti-rape protestors.

Most riots: UP.

Most fake encounters: UP.

The biggest disappointment: Akhilesh.

Most irrelevant leader: Advani.

The biggest headaches for the aam aadmi: Economy, inflation, petrol-onion prices, job market, agricultural woes…

The biggest question…
If this is the case, then why is most of the time spent in rubbishing, attacking, maligning and going after Modi?

© Sunil Rajguru

More on Advani and Modi’s PM dreams…

Most TV anchors have just stopped short of wearing “I love Advani” T-shirts.

62-year-old retires to pave way for new generation.
62-year-old struggles to retire 85-year-old to launch new generation.

Advani, the 100% man…
1% relevant in Politics.
99% relevant in Political Analysis.

The NaMo Rocket…
Stage 1: Can’t stay as CM.
Stage 2: Can’t be PM candidate.
You are now entering Stage 3…
Can’t be PM.

Friday the 13th.
Lucky for some. (#NaMo)
Unlucky for others. (Too many to list!)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Advani and Modi’s PM dreams…

Advani: From Giant to Pygmy…
1991: Future PM.
2002: Deputy PM.
2009: Shadow PM.
2013: Overshadowed by Shadow PM.

Jab tak sooraj chand rahega,
Advani ko PM ka sapna rahega.

Modi was dead and buried in 2009.
Congress self-goals have revived him.
So if Modi becomes PM in 2014, Pappu’s first statement will be…
Modi kaun laya?

If 10 RSS men are charged in a riot, then Modi is guilty and must be hanged.
If 10 Central Ministries are charged with corruption, then Manmohan and Sonia are squeaky clean.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Manmohan Singh and state of the nation musings 7…

Beta, tu bada ho kar kya banega?
Beta: (Chup).
Beta, tu bada ho kar kya banega?
Beta: (Chup).
Beta, tu bada ho kar kya banega?
Beta: Arre! Kabse Manmohan ki acting kar raha hu!

Three reasons why the economy collapsed…
1. Finance Minister took wrong decisions.
2. FM took wrong inputs from PM.
3. PM took wrong inputs from Sonia.

Andhra Congressman: Sir our State is on autopilot. How long can such a situation last?
Manmohan Singh: Don’t worry! I put India on autopilot in 2004. It’s still running, na?

Manmohanomics Version 1.0, 1991-96: Decent performance.
Manmohanomics Version 2.0, 2004-13: Full of bugs, glitches, hangs frequently, F1 not working, but works silently.

One Finance Minister’s lonely.
Two’s company.
Three’s a crowd (and mess).

Finance Minister’s blame game…
Chidu: Mere pahale Pranabda tha.
Pranabda: Mere pahale tu tha!
Chidu: Tab mere pahale Jaswant tha!
Jaswant: Aur mere baad tu. Financial cycles seedhe chalte hai ya reverse main?

Sy₹ia! P₹anab!
Blame it on anything but $ingh.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru