Pricey onions and other woes…

onions-1397037_640Pyaz rulayega, tel aag lagayega, rupaiyya gir jayegaa, food bill economy ko khaayega, koyala dhan ko kala karayega, 2G jee jee karke marega…

Ek din Rupee, petrol, onion… sab ek saath century maarenge aur India all out ho jaayega.

Maybe he should now be promoted to…
Onion Man in a Banana Republic.

Work from home.
Eat Jain diet.
Invest in Dollars.
Stop following news.

Coming soon:
Onion Shanti Onion with the dialogue…
Ek chutki pyaaz ki keemat tum kya jaano!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Contemporary Nursery Rhymes for Modern India

Ba Ba Black Marketeer, have you any onions?
Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full!
One for the hoarder, one for the middle man, one that’ll get rotten and thrown down the drain…
…but none for the little citizen who lives in India’s every lane!

Little Miss Gandhi,
Sat on a turret,
Counting her achievements of the day;
Along came a scamster,
Who sat down beside her,
and frightened her voters away.

Raja! Raja! Yes papa!
Eating spectrum? No papa!
Open your passbook.
Ha! Ha! Ha!

This version By Sunil Rajguru

Know your onions…

Latest sayings…
• You are the onion of my eye.
• You are worth your weight in onions.
• Show me the onions!

• An onion a day gets the taxman to visit your doorstep.

Most popular non-vegetarian dishes…
• Chicken no Pyaaza
• Pyaaza raha gaya mutton

New election slogan…
Hum aapko denge Roti, Kapda, Makan, Bandwidth aur Pyaaz!

Hit songs…
Pyaaz, pyaaz na raha, lahsun, lahsun na raha, zindagi hame tera aitbaar na raha
• Goro ki na kaalo ki, ye duniya hai onionwalo ki

• The study of Onion Economics, Onion Politics, Onion Cycles and Onion Trade.
The Indian Institute of Onions will also roll out Onion Management courses.
The first Onion Billionaires are expected soon.

Hindi usage…
Mujhe pyaas lagi hai! (A quenchable thirst)
Mujhe pyaaz lagi hai! (An unquenchable thirst)

Latest role models…
• Jains.
They have been doing away with onions and garlic for millennia!

• After the Stock Exchange and Metal Exchange, the government is considering a Vegetables Exchange for rare and precious vegetables.

Love boasts…
Jitne tumhe aasman main tare nazar aa rahe hain, utne main tumhe pyaaz laake doonga agar tum mujhse shaadi karogi!
• My love for you is as deep as there are layers in an onion.

This version by Sunil Rajguru