Dhoni victory musings…

After retirement he can build the MS Dhoni Museum of Victory Stumps.

Dhoni must have seen Miandad’s last ball sixer at Sharjah 1986 as a small kid and vowed…
“I will avenge this a 100 times over!”

Overs 41-50 are called the Death Overs in ODIs.
Dhoni is the King of Death.

If the openers won’t get you, Kohli will.
If Kohli won’t get you, Rahane-Raina will.
Aur agar sab gaye tel lene, toh Dhoni hi akela kaafi hai.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Columns on MS Dhoni

Hero Dhoni becomes Villain No. 1 (like many before him!)
January 21, 2016, Sify.com

Stoic Dhoni: A true victim of intolerance
January 10, 2016, Sify.com

2015: Annus horribilis for Dhoni
December 16, 2015, Sify.com

Dhoni: Rest as captain to prolong batting career!
July 7, 2015, Sify.com

Dhoni still best bet against Aussies…
March 30, 2015, Sify.com

Dhoni and the great team bubble
March 27, 2015, Sify.com

Has Dhoni’s golden era ended?
March 27, 2015, Sify.com

The Dhoni-Kohli show finally ends
March 26, 2015, Sify.com

Seven Things That Set Dhoni Apart
January 4, 2015, Sify.com

Dhoni’s Test captaincy in numbers
January 1, 2015, Sify.com

Dhoni symbolizes this era perfectly
December 31, 2014, Sify.com

MS Dhoni – A man who didn’t play for landmarks
December 30, 2014, Sify.com

Is it the end of the Dhoni era?
November 19, 2014, Sify.com

Why the BCCI won’t sack Dhoni!
August 20, 2014, Sify.com

3 Test myths about MS Dhoni…
July 22, 2014, Sify.com

Dhoni: A strange case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde
01 February, 2014, Sify.com

7 reasons why Dhoni is a great leader
12 July, 2013, Sify.com

Is Dhoni our greatest player ever?
24 June, 2013, Sify.com

Dhoni: A strange but successful captain
18 June, 2013, Sify.com

Dhoni begins his second innings in style
19 March, 2012, Sify.com

Dhoni takes India out of the ICU
27 February, 2012, Sify.com

“Last minute” Dhoni strikes again!
20 May, 2012, Sify.com

The Mad Max Trinity
29 March, 2012, Sify.com

Is Dhoni the world’s greatest finisher?
27 October, 2011, Sify.com

10 change-makers: From Pataudi to Dhoni
26 September, 2011, Sify.com

The Revival Man of Indian cricket
16 September, 2011, Sify.com

Cometh the hour, cometh the man
14 May, 2011, Sify.com

The Myth of the Lucky Captain
Sify.com, 21 October, 2010

Dhoni’s last Test series as captain…

MS Dhoni’s book about his Test career will be…
Tired and Retired.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Dhoni who?
Don’ you think it was all rather abrupt?

MS Dhoni’s theme song is…
Saari duniya ka bojh ham uthaate hai…

Test cricket is truly dead when the Indian captain with most Test wins retires voluntarily at the age of 33.

The 2014-15 Border-Gavaskar Series may well be known as the Dhoni-Clarke Retirement Series.
(Also, both have whitewashed each other)

Now suddenly MS Dhoni will become the freshest player in both ODIs and IPL.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Why Dhoni may have quit Tests…

Captaincy bhi main karu.

Wicket-keeping bhi main karu.

Batting main bhi mujhe 4 down karna pade.

Sidelined coach ka void bhi main bharu.

Batting collapses aur spineless bowling ko main jhelu.

Test losses ka gaaliyon ka bauchaar bhi main jhelu.

Aur ye sab ODI/IPL/T20s/media scrutiny ke bojh ke saath!

Bahut hua (Test) sammaan!

I quit!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru


Indispensable Dhoni musings…

BCCI: We hereby make you captain!
Dhoni: Does the captaincy come with a guarantee card?
BCCI: Yes, in your case, it is valid for your entire cricketing life.

BCCI logic…
Fatigued Dhoni = Indispensable.
Losing Dhoni = Indispensable.
Injured Dhoni = Indispensable.

Fact of the day…
About 24% of all Test matches ever won by India from 1932-2014 against the Top 8 teams were done under the captaincy of MS Dhoni.
Next best Azhar: Half of that (13).

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Oval massacre musings…

(Ref: Fifth India-England Test.)

In 2011, the English coach showed his cricket team Lagaan.
He is still getting his ROI over that masterstroke to this very day.

2011: 0-4.
Ab tumhe teeguna lagaan dena padega.
2012: 1-2.
Ab tumhe paanch guna lagaan dena padega.
2014: 1-3.
Ab… abbe tumne hame bankrupt kar diya teen-teen din main match khatam kar ke. Kam ticket sales aur ads se barbaad ho gaye hum! Ab dus guna lagaan dene ka bhi koi faayada nahin hai!

The next angry birds game will feature Indian batsmen as the targets and become popular among cricket fans.

Critic: What kind of a game is Test cricket? You don’t get a result in 5 days?
Indian fan: Oh, we are masters. We can get a result in 3 days flat.

The Indian batsmen’s favourite nursery rhyme is…
Ring a Ring o’ Roses.
They especially love the part…
Atishoo, atishoo, we all fall down!

Team India seniors get Rs 5 lakh per Test, or Rs 1 lakh a day.
By losing in 3 days, they’re getting Rs 1.67 lakh a day.
Boora khelo, jyaada paisa kamao!!!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru