The UPA scams just go on and on…

Economic Reforms.
1. Rao.
2. Vajpayee.
3. Modi.
That’s it.
Manmohan was merely initially Rao’s assistant and then Sonia’s.

Axis Bank in the news for all the wrong reasons post #Demonetization.
Fun fact of the day…
Manmohan inaugurated the first Axis Bank then UTI Bank) in 1994.

Father of Acidic Reforms. (Spoilt politics)
Father of Uneconomic Reforms. (Corruption)
Anything but Father of Economic Reforms—That was Rao.

Father of Bionic Reforms. (Robot)
Father of Anaemic Reforms. (Low energy)
Anything but Father of Economic Reforms—That was Rao.

Manmohan Singh is 84.
And he still has to dance to Madam’s tunes.
Ghulam till I die!

Aam aadmi = Lakhpati.
Middle class = Crorepati.
Trader = Arabpati (100 crores).
Industrialist = Kharabpati (10,000 crores).
All scamsters = Neelpati (10 lakh crores).

Coal Minister innocent in Coalgate.
Economic whiz innocent in 2G.
Guess he’s snow white despite signing AgustaWestland files.

Deve Gowda was the Humble Farmer.
Manmohan Singh was the Fumble Harmer.

To think that Sonia and Manmohan knew absolutely nothing of all the umpteen scams that took place during UPA rule is the height of naivety.

100 scams under Sonia’s UPA—They leave her totally alone. Totally.
Any move Modi makes big or small—Go batshit crazy & attack: Sparta!!!

UPA did 0/10 things.
No outrage for first 7-8 years.
Modi does 5/10 things.
A. He’s doing these 5 things wrong.
B. Why isn’t he doing the other 5 things?

Sonia’s UPA did scam upon scam and no-one attacked her, investigated her or went after her.
Modi’s every bold positive move is attacked viciously.

With the way he’s blabbing non-stop, looks like the P in P Chidambaram stands for Pappu.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

How Adolf Hitler had a greater mandate to rule than Manmohan Singh…

Think it over…

In 2009, almost two-thirds of India did not vote for anyone at all either because they were ineligible or because they simply didn’t want to.

Out of those who voted, a whopping 71% Indians did NOT vote for the Congress.

Despite that the Congress got a near-dictatorial run for 5 years where their arrogance has reached unprecedented levels and virtually nobody has been held accountable for the myriad scams.

In contrast, Hitler’s party in 1933 got 44% votes in an election which saw a turnout of 71% of Germany.

A far greater fraction of Germans wanted Hitler to rule in 1933 than Congress in 2009.

On top of that Manmohan Singh has never ever won a seat in a gram panchayat, council, Assembly or general election in his entire life.

He lost the only Lok Sabha seat he tried for in New Delhi in 1999.

And yet he has been the undisputed Prime Minister of India for close to 10 years!

© Sunil Rajguru

July 2012 Status Updates

∙ Overheard…
Manmohan Singh: Kamse kam tum logo ka power waapis to aayega! Mera power cut to permanent hai!

∙ Zero Loss Sibal gets his match in Zero Power Loss Tewari.

∙ India has officially entered the Dark Age… Black Money, Blackouts and Black hearts are the order of the day.

(July 31)

∙ Anna is “fast” losing support in this country.

(July 25)

∙ Election of a President.
When you add an S (Sonia) to it, it is nothing but…
Selection of a President.

(July 24)

∙ Today the IPL resumes: IndoLanka Perennial League.

(July 21)

∙ No. 1 is White Money. No. 2 is Black.
And they say Rahul Gandhi is No. 2 in Congress.

(July 19)

∙ Cricket + Politics = Cocktail
Cricket + Politics + Pak = Molotov Cocktail

(July 16)

∙ Fed(!

(July 9)

∙ Bose… Boson.
So if a Mr More discovers a subatomic particle, we’ll finally have a Moron?

(July 7)

∙ Particles have antiparticles.
So is the antiparticle of the God particle the Devil particle?
Over to you CERN.

(July 5)

∙ You can find God in whatever you look, even in a particle.

Bhagwan nahin mila, par kam se kam bhagwan ka tukda to mila!
(God particle)

(July 4)

∙ New election symbols in UP…
SP: Car.
BSP: Maya’s statue.
BJP: Wilted lotus.
Cong: Thumbs down hand.

∙ Lady Gaga is the smartest celebrity.
I’m sure she goes out of her house in normal clothes regularly and nobody recognizes her.

∙ It had become LinkedIntoTwitter.
Now it’s back to being LinkedIn.

∙ A Kingfisher bird strikes in the water.
A Kingfisher plane strikes in the air.
(Note: Both strikes have different meanings.)

(July 3)

∙ No relationship comes with an expiry date.
Unless you’re Tom Cruise… then it’s 33.

∙ The reign in Spain stays mainly on the football plain.

(July 2)

∙ Everyone apes TOI. TOI apes The Hindu.
At Independence, The Hindu carried only ads on the Front page.
Now in 2012, TOI does that regularly.

(July 1)

© Sunil Rajguru

June 2012 Status Updates

∙ The Phases of Manmohan Singh…
In 1991 he was the New Moon.
By 1996, he waxed to become the Full Moon.
In 2004 he was the New Moon again.
Only to become the Full Moon in 2009.
Now he’s waning towards a New Moon for 2014.

∙ Lukas Rise-ol beats Ra-fell Nadal.
Roger that?

(June 29)

∙ Today’s PJ…
What’s common between the Iron Man and the Iron Pillar of Delhi?
Both the pillar and Advani have been around for donkey’s years confounding experts as they simply refuse to rust!

(June 28)

∙ Dollar to Rupee: Tum kitne gire hue ho!

(June 23)

∙ Like Brangelina, Singur should be renamed Mamatata.

(June 22)

∙ ELEMENTS of Adarsh…
Crores vanished in the AIR as they poured WATER on the dreams of honest defence personnel. Now all evidence has been destroyed in a FIRE and Justice will be forever buried in the EARTH.

Bhrastachaar itna bad gaya hai ki uska naam ab Bharshtapaanch rakhna padega.

(June 21)

∙ Pranabda then and now…
1980s: Main banunga Pradhan Mantri.
Now: Main banunga Madamji ka Rubber Stamp (Pradhan Mantri MMS) ka Rubber Stamp.

(June 20)

∙ It’s called Rashtra“pati” because all husbands are generally useless and don’t have a say in the decisions of the house.

(June 19)

∙ It’s so funny that on Facebook every status sounds grand, every picture looks good, every link sounds important, every friend feels true and every trivial activity is hallowed. All that is ignored in real life mysteriously becomes magnified manifold when made virtual.

∙ Mamata must be really de.prez.d nowadays.

(June 18)

∙ All in a fortnight…
Sania wins French Open.
Sonia wins Presidential Open.
Saina wins Indonesian Open.

(June 17)

∙ The Presidential post is ceremonial.
MMS made the PM’s post ceremonial.
MMS for Prez!

(June 13)

∙ Pranab for Prez talk…
Congress: We would like to do something special for 1 Bengali.
Mamata: First do something special for 9 crore Bengalis.

(June 11)

∙ The Planning Commission is making a lot of illoogical decisions of late.

(June 9)

∙ Indian petrol’s ultimate goal…
Jitne dollars main barrel, utne Rupees main litre.

(June 4)

∙ I just love Aamir Khan’s passion, tears and commitment.
To think he’s just getting a measely Rs 3 crores per episode for doing exactly that.
Dhana Jayate!

∙ PJ of the day…
Why is the UPA like a cake?
Because both are great when fresh, but stink when they’ve been around for too long.

∙ The Congress ate Rs 5.50 from the Rs 7.50 petrol hike and gave back Rs 2 to the common man saying: Tu do kha!

Dost dost na raha, Pyari Pyari na raha...

(June 2)

∙ Annual Appraisal
PM: I have just one question. Is any of us guilty?
CBI: No! You are all innocent.
PM: Your grade is “Outstanding”! Keep it up.

(June 1)

© Sunil Rajguru

More said and unsaid…

Prime Minister Manmohan Singh: No irritants in ties with US.
Unsaid: Pakistan, China, 2G, CWG… nothing irritates me anymore. I have attained Nirvana!

Pakistan: We are still considering the MFN status with India.
Unsaid: We’ve already given them MFN status with regard to export of terrorism, haven’t we?

Indian Media: Justice Markandey Katju is wrong, erroneous and talking absolute crap!
Unsaid: We know that he is right, but if we accept it then how will we be able to function? Which world are you living in man?

BJP: We strongly oppose Mayawati’s move to split Uttar Pradesh into four states.
Unsaid: It’s a brilliant populist move and we wish we could have done it when we were in power!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru