General political musings of the day

CONGRESS
Care
Of
Nehru
Gandhi
Rajiv-Rahul
Emergency-Indira
Sanjay
Sonia

First you win, then they fight you, then they laugh at you, then they ignore you.
*They=People of India.
You=Pappu.
Win=2009 Lok Sabha win.

When they go low, we go high.
—Michelle Obama.
I’m always high no matter how low we go.
—Pappu.

When they go low, we go high.
—Michelle Obama.
When he goes high, we go low.
—Opposition on Modi.

Bihar-WB ruin continues;
Behenji is playing super victimhood;
Kejri is spouting utter nonsense;
Sonia’s abroad—
All’s normal with politics!

Prashant Kishore is like Manmohan Singh.
PK was good under Modi, but bad under Pappu-Akhilesh.
MMS was good under Rao, but bad under Sonia.

Opposition attacking Modi hysterically 24X7, ignoring voters and clueless about real strategy.
And you ask why Modi keeps winning.

It may be possible to beat Modi in 2019.
But not if the entire opposition runs around like headless chickens all the time.

Bad news for BJP.
Diggy Raja may be removed from Karnataka.
Shows Congress is serious.
Now if Pappu doesn’t campaign, then Congress has a fighting chance.

The current ABC of misgovernance…
Arvind
Banerjee
Congress.

AAP chose the broom to think that they would sweep all States.
Fate chose to sweep AAP out of all States, Delhi bhi jaayega.

Kejri will probably say to his workers…
We did not lose Punjab-Goa, but in fact we won.
That’s because we saw a 30% growth in total MLAs!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Musings on the 2017 Assembly elections…

#2017Polls
If Pappu wins…
If Pappu loses…
Answer is the same.
He’ll eventually become Congress President.
Life ho to aisi!

If Kejri wins Goa and Punjab, then along with Delhi it will be a sort of Bermuda Triangle where all governance will go missing.

So will Punjab be the second State to have AAPRajya after Delhi?
Supreme Leader Kejri to extend his domain?

In 1952, Congress won 388/429 seats in the UP elections.
In 2017, it is dancing on one leg because it is getting to contest 105/403 seats.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kejri baba will do everything but governance

Do we need our IIT graduates to sell detergents?
—Pranab Mukherjee.
No, we need them to do non-stop dharna, anarchy and nautanki!
—AAP.

If all the elections were held simultaneously, Kejri would be a CM candidate for 29 states and also PM candidate.

AAP planning 29 clones of Kejri for 29 CMs. Original will eventually become PM.

Odd day Delhi CM.
Even day Punjab CM.
Delhi-Chandigarh flight just 1 hour.

Garbage Chief Minister.
Garbage party.
Garbage politics.
Garbage city.

Raasto se karwa tak,
Is zamee se aasma tak,
Mai hi mai hu mai hi mai hu,
Doosra koi nahi,
Mujhko dekhoge jaha tak,
Mujhko paoge waha tak!
#KejriThemeSong

Kejri during 2020 Delhi elections…
I successfully blamed Modi for all of Delhi’s problems from 2015-20.
Vote for me and I’ll do the same for 2020-25!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Why the stink now Anna Hazare?

Anna created Kejri.
He let Kejri use IAC contacts and funds to launch AAP.
And now after sleeping for years he’s suddenly crying.

Anna is exactly like Gandhi.
Gandhi gave us Pappu Nehru.
Anna gave us Pappu Kejri.

Anna promised us National Lokpal.
Instead he gave us Internal AAP Lokpal.
His only achievement of the 2010s.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

And they will continue hating Modi…

Kejriwal: Vote for anyone but BJP.
One interpretation: Vote for Congress.
Anna Hazare, tu to Congress agent nikla!

Kejri.
The man with a million mistakes, a million baseless allegations and a million nautankis.
Plus he’s chanted Modi’s name million times.

Lalu
Accused✔
Convicted✔
Disqualified✔
Incompetent✔
Jungle Raj✔
Casteist✔
Dynasty✔
#AdarshLiberals: He’s as white as snow! We hate Modi!

1970s: Too many bad politicians debut.
1980s: Mamata becomes MP.
1990s: Lalu becomes CM.
2000s: Pappu becomes MP.
2010s: Kejri becomes CM.

Congress once had all the talent, all the leaders and all the ideas.
Today it has all the stupidity, all the bankruptcy and all the Pappus.

Next they will complain that their vote bank got hacked and emptied in 2014 and they are unable to get new voting currency.
#OfflineCongress

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Lalu still rocks musings…

#LaluLand
Kejri wants to be like Lalu.
Nitish joins hands with Lalu.
Mamata will turn WB into Laluland.
Media will continue loving Lalu.

Jab tak rahega samose main alu,
Tab tak Kejri ka nautanki rahega chalu.
#AngreziLalu

Rulers of…
National politics—Modi.
Comedy—Pappu.
Drama—Kejri.
Jungle Raj—Lalu.
Illegal aliens—Mamata.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru