Indian states then and now…

2001: Don’t you dare do a Bihar!
2011: Why don’t you do a Bihar?

1955: I feel as special as Kashmir.
2011: I feel as tired and weary as Kashmir.

1989: The Congress is destroying Uttar Pradesh.
1999: The BJP is destroying Uttar Pradesh.
2007: Mulayam Singh Yadav is destroying Uttar Pradesh.
2011: Mayawati is destroying Uttar Pradesh.
2012: Who will destroy Uttar Pradesh?

1957, 67, 69, 70, 78, 80, 87, 96, 2006: Kerala is being “Left” behind.
1962, 77, 81, 91, 2001, 11: Kerala is being left behind thanks to the Congress.

2010: May you last as long as the West Bengal Communist government.
2011: May you not be forgotten the way the West Bengal Communist government was.

© Sunil Rajguru

Ji Huzoor…

Centre: Hum weak ho rahe hain!
Advisor: To phir regions ko aur bhi weak kardo!
Centre: Us-se kya hoga?
Advisor: Aap bahut strong ho jaoge.
Centre: Kya bakwas kar rahe ho! Regions weak ho jaayenge to hum bhi weak ho jayenge.
Advisor: Einstein ka naam nahin suna?
Centre: Kis kambhakt puraane British politician ka naam le rahe ho?
Advisor: Woh… chodo… Relativity kahata hain ki agar doosre weak hote jaate hain to aap relatively strong hote jaate hain…
Centre: Einstein ko maaro goli, ye Relativity bhai sahab bahut acche lagte hain.
Advisor: To amal kiya jaaye… regions ko chote chote tukdo main baat do.
Centre: Todo, todo, regions ko todo… as a first step… us ka Fast todo.
Advisor: Ji huzoor.

(Moral of the story: In 1947 there were 17 provinces in India. In 1975 there were 21 states. Today there are 28. Tomorrow there will be 35. First thoda resistance and finally our kids will mug up the new names quietly for their GK test and we’ll happily help them.)


Hamare batsman acche hain, Rules se bowlers ki jaan lelo
Ji huzoor…
Chucker ka chakkar chodo
Ji huzoor…
Pak nahin khelega..
Ji huzoor…
T20 nahin khelna hain…
Ji huzoor…
T20 khel hi lete, domestic bhi
Ji huzoor…
Acha chalo do aur
Test hi khelte hain…
Ji huzoor…

(Moral of the story: Who cares about the ICC Test/ODI/T20 rankings when India has been the undisputed No. 1 in the Unofficial Cricket Power Rankings for ages now and continue to do so)

© Sunil Rajguru