Cricketing musings…

· February Chennai India-Australia Test report…
Michael ki cycle stand giri. No time to Siddle down as they Wade through tricky waters for Hughes defeat. Starc contrast between the two teams, as Lyons become lambs. It’s a Warner for the remaining Tests as they Ed to Hyderabad. Spin’s in: It’s elementary, my dear Watson!

· 0-4: Koi baat nahin Dhoni!
0-8: Koi baat nahin Dhoni!
1-2: Enough, perform or perish!
Bam bam bam bam bam… 224!
BCCI: Sigh! Pahale kyun nahin warn kiya!

· Steyn: Me Best.
Philander: Me Bester.
Abbott: Me bestest.
(Dear Cricket South Africa,
More ODIs/T20s instead of Tests?
Warm regards,

· The curse of 2 Test Triples?
Lara was in and out of the team.
Gayle was dropped for ages.
Sehwag looks on his way out.
(Exception: Bradman)

© Sunil Rajguru

Contemporary Knock Knock Jokes 16

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Defeats who?
The feats of the Indian cricketing team have changed from record winning streaks to record losing streaks!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
World Champions India.
World Champions India who?
World Champions in the air!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Republican presidential candidate.
Republican presidential candidate who?
Good question!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Budget who?
Baja thok ke chal diye desh ko FM sahib.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Kahaa ni woh akeli kaafi hai film ko superhit banana ke liye!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Big 3 nahin to Little 3 hi sahi…

VVS to SRT/Dravid: Bas Sri Lanka tour nikaal lo bhai logon… next foreign pitch tour is at the very end of 2013. We can easily play till then!
Yuvi-Raina-Rohit: Looks like we will be the “Allegedly Next Big 3” to retire from Tests and not them!
Sehwag: And I actually thought I could bat up the order!
BCCI: The only constant is (we will not) change.

∙ History first repeats itself as a tragedy (England tour) and then as a farce (Australia tour).

∙ Happy Republic Day!
However, no Independence Day from the farce of Indian batting on foreign pitches.

∙ Theme song of the Indian batting is Hum Saath Saath Hai
They hit form together and collapse together.

© Sunil Rajguru

I love my pitches of India…

Indian batsmen are tigers on Indian Test pitches and lambs abroad. Their theme song…

Please sing to the tune of I love my India from the movie Pardes

London dekha, Melbourne dekha,
London dekha, Melbourne dekha,
Aur dekha Birmingham,
Oval dekha, Sydney dekha,
Sab dekha meri jaan,
Saare jag main kahin nahin hai doosra Pitch-e-Hindustan,
Doosra Pitch-e-Hindustan,
Doosra Pitch-e-Hindustan.

Ye duniya ek uljhan,
Ye duniya ek uljhan,
Ulhano ke uljhan main Team India,
Ye mera Team India,
Ye mera Team India,
I love my pitches of India,
I love my pitches of India.

Jab chheda stumps ko kisi ne,
Jhoom ke doosra wicket bhi gira,
Aag lagi jaise pitch main ab,
Deepak raag sunaaya pacers ne,
Saare wicket-o ka sangam bane opposition ki mala,
Hum apne Bhagwaan ko bhi kehate hain beshatak wala,
Beshatak wala,
Beshatak wala.

Ye mera Team India,
I love my pitches of India,
Ye mera Team India,
I love my pitches of India.

(Original song: I love my India.
Film: Pardes.
Year: 1997.)

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru

More Sydney musings…

∙ The BCCI believes in investing its future in the youth.
Hence it’s keeping all its investments safe on the bench.

∙ The Indian players cricket are not cows.
They are not interested in grass.

∙ The Indian players are really bad artists.
They can’t even draw anything!

∙ From now on the BCCI is going to charge double for its Test tours.
That’s because wherever the Indian team visits, it revives the Test fortunes of that particular country.

∙ ABCD of Sachin’s Mahashatak misses…
Sachin has missed his 100th 100 at Ahmedabad, Birmingham, Chennai and Delhi…
(Now let’s hope he doesn’t go all the way from E to Z!)

∙ Sachin also completed a triple century in Sydney.
He’s been searching for his Mahashatak for more than 300 days now.

∙ Conspiracy Theory #45
The BCCI refused to rest MS Dhoni for the tour of West Indies last year and this is Dhoni’s way of getting back.

© Sunil Rajguru

Reference: Second India-Australia Test at Sydney, January 3-6