Musings in the Modi era…

Pappu: I am tearing up this ordinance.
Singhvi: The ordinance was eaten by termites.

BJP slogan…
Centre main Narendra,
State main Devendra.
Pseudo-secular alliance slogan…
Centre main Damaad,
State main Damaad.
‪#‎Vadra‬ ‪#‎Manjhi‬ ‪#‎AreYouSerious‬

We are entering an age of Pappu politics when it comes to a political dynasty…
‪#‎Rahul‬ ‪#‎Akhilesh‬ ‪#‎YSR‬ ‪#‎Omar‬ ‪#‎Uddhav‬ ‪#‎Raj‬ ‪#‎Ajit‬ ‪#‎Rane‬ ‪#‎Karti‬ ‪#‎Azhagiri‬ ‪#‎Khurshid‬

Modi: Where are you going?
Jaitley: To launch the book written by someone who claims he’s not anti-Modi and with you prominently on the cover.
Modi: OK.
Jaitley: Phew!

Q: What’s the one thing that unites diverse leaders like Nehru, Sonia, Srinivasan and Manjhi?
A: Damaad woes.

Lone: Can we have a tie-up with the BJP?
Modi: Sure. Stand in the queue behind PDP and NC. Counter opens after results are declared.

The irony…
Bharadwaj: PC totally responsible for 2G.
Collective Responsibility of Constitution: PM is responsible for Minister’s scams.
P.S. MMS reported to Madam.

The Congress and the Third and Fourth Fronts should actually get together and launch the Second Front to give a serious challenge to the BJP.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

New Congress climate musings…

The 3 Stages of Congress…
1947-89: Monopoly.
1989-2014: The Survivor.
2014- : Oblivion.
The 3 Stages of RSS/BJS/BJP…
1947-77: Oblivion.
1977-2014: The Survivor.
2014- : Monopoly.

Congressman A: We are planning for a Chintan Shivir.
Congressman B: When will it begin?
A: Soon.
B: And end?
A: Probably 2024!

Yesterday: Lutyens’ Delhi.
Today: Lut gaya Delhi of all its communism, liberalism and privilege.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

At the polls: Jai Pappu. Hai hai Modi…

Pappu star campaigner for Bihar 2010 polls, Congress gets 4/243 seats.
Koi baat nahin Pappu, next time!

Pappu star campaigner for UP 2012 polls, Congress gets 28/403 seats.
Koi baat nahin Pappu, next time!

Pappu star campaigner for 2013 Assembly polls, Congress wins 1/5 States.
Koi baat nahin Pappu, next time!

Pappu star campaigner for 2014 Lok Sabha polls, Congress wins 44/543 seats.
Koi baat nahin Pappu, next time!

Pappu campaigns in Maharashtra and Haryana, Congress loses both States.
Koi baat nahin Pappu, next time! (Till 2024? Till 2029?)

Modi wins 2002 Gujarat Assembly polls.

Modi wins 2007 Gujarat Assembly polls.
Gujaratis have been fooled!

Modi wins 2012 Gujarat Assembly polls.
So what? Expected. TINA!

Modi campaigns to great 2013 Assembly polls victory.
No Modi wave. Even if so, it won’t last till 2014.

Modi leads BJP to spectacular 282 Lok Sabha seats.
31%! Bypolls show Modi wave has ended!

Modi campaign leads to BJP CMs in Maharashtra and Haryana.
Bah! He will never get Tamil Nadu and West Bengal.

Post script…
Pappu’s mistakes will be tolerated for decades.
Modi’s successes will be forgotten in one second.

© Sunil Rajguru

Bargaining for 2014 Maharashtra Assembly elections, Shiv Sena style…

BJP: Kya bhaav hai?

Shiv Sena: 151.

BJP: Thoda kam nahin ho sakta kya?

Sena: 151.

BJP: 130 consider karoge kya?

Sena: 151.

BJP: 140 nahin chalega kya?

Sena: 151.

BJP: Arre bhai, 140 ko chala lo!

Sena: 151.

BJP: 145?

Sena: 151.

BJP: Ek kaam kar lo, hum aapko saare 288 seats hi de dete hai!

© Sunil Rajguru

The BJP-Shiv Sena relationship status…

For 25 years: Happily married!

Some time back: Working on our relationship.

After that: It’s complicated.

Now: We haven’t the foggiest idea what our relationship status is!

Congress-NCP: We’ll have what they’re having.

MNS: Now in the relationship (or marriage) market.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When the Shiv Sena and BJP broke up in Maharashtra…

Maharashtra politics…
2006: Pramod Mahajan, RIP.
2012: Vilasrao Deshmukh, RIP.
2012: Balasaheb Thackeray, RIP.
2014: Gopinath Munde, RIP.
2014: BJP-Sena alliance, RIP.
2014: Congress-NCP alliance, RIP.

February 14: Valentine’s Day.
September 25: Breakup Day.

When the news channels didn’t know whether they were breaking or not…

The BJP-Shiv Sena alliance is like Schrodinger’s Cat because it is simultaneously alive and dead.

Breaking News for 10 days…
BJP-Shiv Sena/NCP-Congress on the verge of breaking/breakthrough.
(Means we haven’t the foggiest idea but we will say we were right no matter what happens in the end)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru