Latest round of match-fixing musings…

Scamster ho ya match-fixer ho…
Aakhir chhoot jaata hai, chhoot jata hai…

Reporter: Srini?
Mudgal: Sriknew.
‪#‎IPL‬ ‪#‎MudgalReport‬

Selector: Did you check out Powerplay 1, Powerplay 2 and Powerplay 3?
Official: No, I was checking out Individual 1, Individual 2 and Individual 3.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Indispensable Dhoni musings…

BCCI: We hereby make you captain!
Dhoni: Does the captaincy come with a guarantee card?
BCCI: Yes, in your case, it is valid for your entire cricketing life.

BCCI logic…
Fatigued Dhoni = Indispensable.
Losing Dhoni = Indispensable.
Injured Dhoni = Indispensable.

Fact of the day…
About 24% of all Test matches ever won by India from 1932-2014 against the Top 8 teams were done under the captaincy of MS Dhoni.
Next best Azhar: Half of that (13).

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Srinivasan to return?

“I’ll be back.”
Arnold Schwarzenegger, 1984.
Jagmohan Dalmiya, 2006.
N Srinivasan, 2013.
(Mohinder Amarnath: Dunno how many times!)

BCCI and political parties have an RTI of their own.
Right To Innocence.
Right To (declare anyone) Innocent.

The BCCI does believe in DRS.
N Srinivasan was given out and he appealed.
Now his Third Umpire has overruled the original decision and he’s coming back.

Tere paas kya hai?
Srinivasan: Mere paas Ma(hi) hai!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

IPL Srinivasan spot-fixing musings…

· Sir, what about Conflict of Interest?
N Srinivasan: There is no Conflict in my mind and I am not Interested in your question.
(P.S. My place is Cemented in Indian cricket)

· Srinivasan to Dalmiya: Don’t worry, I have Fixed your Spot!
Sreesanth: Maine kya paap kiya re?

· The cricket chiefs stood with stones in their hands and Srinivasan said, “Let the one among you who is without sin cast the first stone.”

· “Srini, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”
Jagmohan Dalmiya, 2001.
(Kaisa-blank-kiya fans ke hopes ko)

· Even if he renamed the two entities to Board of Control for Cement in India and India Cricket, it would make no difference.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Indian cricket musings…

· The Revenge Series began after we won the 2011 WC.
Basically that means every team is taking revenge against us after that.

· Rohit Sharma is the only cricketer who’s Past is Continuously forgotten, Present is always Tense, but Future is always Perfect.

· Indo-Pak match fixed?
Chhodo yaar, life itself is fixed.
Haven’t you heard of fate?

· Tim Allen: I act in a TV show called Last Man Standing. It’s on Star World.
MS Dhoni: I act in a reality show called Last Man Standing. It’s on Star Cricket.

· BCCI: Dhoni hamara sukh-dukh ka saathi hai.
Sukh bahut dekh liya, ab dukh bhi jhelte hai.

· “Enough money to last 7 generations” quote remixed…
BCCI: Usne hamare liye itna paisa kamaya ki ab woh saat saal tak khel sakta hai.

· What may be happening…
Players: Seniors problem.
Seniors: Captain problem.
Captain: Coach problem.
Coach. Hands tied. BCCI problem.
BCCI: Problem? No financial problem!

· More than Revenge Series, the BCCI should start organizing Retirement Series.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

General cricketing musings…

∙ IPL: Auction.
Indian Cricket: Uski bhi nilaami ho raha hai.

∙ T20% of revenues coming in only nowadays.

∙ ODI = One Day India (were champions, but not today).

∙ Dhoni is the new Nehru-Gandhi dynasty type icon: There is no alternative.

∙ BCCI theme song…
Mujhe teri sponsorship ka Sahara mil gaya hota, agar toofan nahi aata…

∙ Meanwhile the UPA is also going in for a BCCI type board of its own…
Board of Control of Corruption in India.
When pointed out that this misses out Swiss Bank accounts, then the name ICC was suggested…
International Corruption Council.

© Sunil Rajguru