Contemporary Knock Knock Jokes 21

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Intruder who?
In through the LoC came Musharraf to become Pak’s most high-profile intruder ever.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
VP who?
Weepy weepy India thanks to the new Congress VP.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Vishwaroopam who?
Wish we rue pampering these fringe groups and change soon!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Anna who?
An’ now he threatens another agitation, but people have totally lost interest.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Ah… there’s no-one who quite understands this scheme, I’m afraid!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Salman who?
Depends on who you are asking for: One is hounded all over India for no real fault of his; while the other is a much-loved superstar despite his many many crimes.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Diesel who?
The selling of my car appears to be the only option now with so many hikes!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Ashish Nandy.
Ashish Nandy who?
Ah! Sheesh! None the better are we after this latest controversy.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Random Sunday political musings…

An unequal fight…
The Team: Mere paas Anna (Bada bhai) hai, tere paas kya hai?
Rahul: Mere paas maa hai!
(Aur bonus main baap, dadi aur pardada ki legacy!)

∙ It’s a shame that any leader would want to build statues of himself or herself all over the place.
Once again it’s an Indian bureaucrat that is covering a politician’s shame.

∙ Congress war cry: Hamse jo takarayega, Corruption main mil jaayega.
(Take that Team Anna, BJP…)

© Sunil Rajguru

The Three Laws of Motion of Indian Politics…

The First Law…
A large Parliamentary body remains stationary unless that body is acted upon by an external force (like Anna Hazare).
Ultimate model of Intertia=Manmohan Singh.

The Second Law…

The acceleration the Parliamentary body is parallel and directly proportional in case of a useless demand and inversely proportional to a very useful demand.
(Like hiking MPs salary is achieved in 40 seconds through a voice vote and the Lokpal is hanging fire even after 40 years)

The Third Law …

Every action by the people has a greater and opposite reaction by the Parliament.
An illustration…
Action: 1 Common Citizen (Anna) held 790 MPs to ransom.
Reaction: 1 common MP (Rajniti) held 1.2 crore Common Citizens to ransom.

© Sunil Rajguru

Ajeeb Lokpal hai ye…

So much sound and fury over the Lokpal Bill and not an Act to show for it in the end.

Please sing to the tune of Ajeeb daastan hai ye from Dil Apna Aur Preet Parai…

Ajeeb Lokpal hai ye,
Kab ye shuru hua aur kab hoga khatam,
Ye manzile hai kaunsi,
Na sarkar samajh saka na hum,
Anna rosihni ke saath kyoon,
Team ka utha chiraag se),
Lokpal khwaab dekhte hum sab kyun,
Ki jag pade ho khwaab se.

Ajeeb Lokpal hai ye,
Kab ye shuru hua aur kab hoga khatam,
Ye manzile hai kaunsi,
Na sarkar samajh saka na hum,
(Mubaarakein tumhe ke tum,
movement ke noor ho gaye)
Hal ke kitne paas the,
Aur hal se door ho gaye.

Ajeeb Lokpal hai ye,
Kab ye shuru hua aur kab hoga khatam,
Ye manzile hai kaunsi,
Na sarkar samajh saka na hum,
(Kisi ka
Bill leke tum,
Act kab basaaoge?)
Ye shaam jab bhi yaad aayegi,
useless LS-RS debates yaad aayenge…

(Original Song: Ajeeb daastan hai ye.
Film: Dil Apna Aur Preet Parai.
Year: 1960)

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru

Tryst with Tomfoolery

Many years ago, India’s first Prime Minister Jawaharlal Nehru gave a brilliant speech called Tryst with Destiny.

With due apologies to the great man, here is a spoofed up and highly abridged version of that speech to describe the sordid events of the Rajya Sabha not passing the Lokpal Bill, which has been hanging fire for more than four decades…

(Maybe Rahul Gandhi could read it!)

Long years ago we made a tryst with tomfoolery, and now the time comes when we shall redeem our pledge, not wholly or in full measure, but very substantially. At the stroke of the midnight hour, when the Lok Sabha sleeps, the Rajya Sabha will awake to strife and tomfoolery…

At the dawn of 1968, India started on her unending Lokpal quest, and trackless decades are filled with her striving and grandeur of her failures. We end today a period of misfortunes and India trashes the Lokpal yet again…

On this day our first thoughts go to the architect of this freedom, the New Father of our Nation, Anna Hazare, who, embodying the old spirit of India, held aloft the torch of the Lokpal and lighted up the darkness that surrounded us. We have often been unworthy followers of his and have strayed from his message…

The future beckons to us. Whither do we go and what shall be our endeavour? To bring more tomfoolery to the common man, to the peasants and workers of India…

(This spoof by Sunil Rajguru)

More Lokpal musings…

∙ Lokpal movie…
Came in 40 Odd Years (Lok Sabha Chapter).
Gone in 40 Odd Hours (Rajya Sabha Chapter).

∙ Full Circle…
The world was created from Chaos.
Indian Parliament will always end in Chaos.

∙ Theme song for the failed Mumbai Anna agitation…
Kasa kay, bara aahe, I am Mumbhai, Lokpal bye bye…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru