September 2011 Status Updates

Aal Izz Well?
Really? Howz that?
There’s no Rancho is UPA2.

Sonia’s mystery illness discovered.
She’s totally sick of the cancer of corruption and the virus of party infighting.
Still unwell as cure nowhere in sight.

(September 30)

Breaking News: The news related to 2G has already been broken and broken down so many times that is has turned into a fine powder to surround the very air, sorry spectrum, around us like an invisible mist.

The Congress is now planning a DND against the Opposition, Civil Society and Common Citizen till 2014.

An astrologer told Manmohan in 2009 that his Rajyog would continue till 2014.
On rechecking the note in 2011, it actually said ‘Raja’yog.

2G ghotala Rule No. 23…
Chidambaram’s Bureau of Investigation cannot investigate Chidambaram.
How dare you ask?

The Government has realized the error of Rs 32 per day as a poverty line.
The new amount is Rs 4.20.
That way poverty will be eradicated from India forever.
Ho gaya Bharat Nirman!
Jao sab ameer log ghar jaake so jao!

The cash for votes scam story till now…
Accept bribe. Go to jail.
Arrange bribe. Go to jail.
Expose bribe. Go to jail.
Give bribe… em… nobody gave the bribe!

Will the Judicial Accountability Bill cover reality show judges?
Most of them are horrendous and have no judging talent whatsoever.

Flash: India has just been declared a Developed Country.
That’s thanks to the Rs 33 per day “rich” quota and Paris Hilton’s generosity.
In fact we are doing so well that New Delhi will be renamed New Paris.

Mausam review…
Serendipity meets Ayodhya and drags on till Godhra…

Jab tak Sooraj Chand rahega,
Dev Anand ka flop film rahega…
(I think he has had just one superhit after I was born).

The Government is dead.
Please observe 2-minute silence.
As for Manmohan, he’s observing a 2-year silence.

In India, a human life is worth less that Rs 27.
With Rs 33 however, it becomes rich.
The mathematics never adds up in real life.

(September 27)

To aakhir PC ko bhi Corruption Virus lag hi gaya.
Sonia bimaar. Rahul Baba pareshan. Aadhi Janta Tihar main.
Sirf MMS hi immune lag raha hai…

(September 26)

Even after retirement, Shoaib Akhtar has the ability to chuck, land no balls and beamers!
Enough Free Hits for his critics and detractors.
Controversially Yours = Predictably Yours.

(September 24)

The Metro Monsoon song…
Shanghai-Singapore nahin,
to Venice hi sahin,
Ye hai Delhi-Mumbai ji,
Kyunki baarish hui hain abhi abhi…

A Time of Healing is on the horizon in Indian cricket.
Soon fatigue will be forgotten and small injuries brushed under the carpet.
This Time of Healing is also known as the Champions League.

(September 17)

The way Federer was continously Nadalized in the past, Nadal is totally Novaked out these days!

(September 13)

Old Saying: Delhi door hai.
New Saying: Sachin ka sauwa shatak door hai.

The UPA Government has also done a great deal of good.
It’s just a Kabhi Schemes Kabhi Scams type of Government.

We are all perennial teachers.
We are all perennial students.
Happy Teacher’s Day, to everyone, from everyone!

Dear Anna Hazare,
Happy Teacher’s Day,
Warm regards,
The BJP.
(P.S. You sure did teach the Congress a good lesson!)

(September 5)

© Sunil Rajguru

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