The States that are sinking…

Kejri went to the centre of Delhi, pointed at the ground and said…
Saugandh Lalu ki khaatein hain, hum Bihar wahin banayenge!

By 2020…
India would be transformed.
Amaravati would be a brand new smart city.
Delhi would become Bihar.
And Bihar God only knows what.

At the entrance of West Bengal, Bihar and Delhi in 2020…
Abandon hope all ye who enter here.

Delhi tolerated a 100 Kejri absurdities from 2014-15.
With the way it’s going, they’ll have to tolerate a few 100 more till 2020.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Media musings…

If there were 7.4 billion unlimited broadband connections, then there would be zero newspapers and zero TV news channels.

Newspapers are taken seriously by those people who don’t have Internet.
TV news channels are taken seriously by those who don’t have unlimited broadband.

The headline of the Times of India Front Page Lead has 33 words.
I wonder if this is a new record.

Differing priorities…

I will electrify every village: Goyal.

I will save every stranded foreign national: Sushma.

I will build road in every corner: Gadkari.

I will put every textbook online for free: Smriti.

I will solve every Railways problem: Prabhu.

I will blame everything on Modi: Kejri.

I will cover and magnify every little goof-up of Modi: Senior editor.

I will blame every little nonsensical thing on Modi: #AdarshLiberal.

© Sunil Rajguru

When Narendra met Nawaz…

Modi: Hum Pakistani Army se bahut pareshaan hai.
Nawaz: Kya batau? Main tujh se jyaada Pakistani Army se pareshaan hu!

Pappu reads headline: Modi-Sharif discuss ties.
Goes ballistic and says: Ye hai suit-boot-tie ki sarkaar!

2013: Yet another Bad Corruption Day.
2014: Good Governance Day.
2015: Good Diplomacy Day.

Sharif—Pakistan International Airlines.
Modi—Pakistan India Afghanistan in one day.

December 25 birthdays…
Christ. Newton.
Malaviya. Vajpayee.
Jinnah. Sharif.

How the conversation should have gone…
Mani—We will have peace if you remove Modi.
Retort—Actually we will now definitely have peace.
Retort—Because jokers like you have already been removed.

Today the headline of the Times of India Front Page Lead has 33 words.
I wonder if this is a new record.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru