Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty musings…

Evolution of Priyanka Vadra…
2013: Zzzzzz…
2014: Who is Smriti Irani?
2015: Why hasn’t she built an IIT in Amethi?

This is to certify that Nehru and his descendants will be PM/PM-in-waiting for life.
Signed by Independent India, August 15, 1947.

Internet users—Check.
Urban flat buyers—Check.
Mummy, saare ho gaye. Ab main fir sabbatical lu?
‪#‎RahulWalks‬ ‪#‎RahulTatkalPolitics‬

With the way revelations are coming out, movie on Manmohan Singh’s life will be called Delhi ka Thug.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Will Afridi really retire one day?

One day many years back Afridi said he was retiring…

…since then the iPhone was invented, Musharraf retired, Bhutto was assassinated, a Saudi King died, Bush retired, Kim Jong-il died, Osama was captured, the Arab Spring happened, Mangalyaan was announced and became successful, Modi went from pariah to PM…

…and Afridi is still “retiring”.

© Sunil Rajguru

April 2015 Status Updates

Congress ruins West Bengal.
CPM ruins the ruins.
Trinamool show no matter how bad things get they can still get worse.

The only place where Modi has failed spectacularly is TV studios.
He’s made a pretty OK beginning everywhere else.

(April 28)

Modi’s political career…
2002—Declared dead.
2007—Declared dead.
2009—Declared dead.
2011—Declared dead.
2013—Declared dead.
2019—Declared dead.

(April 20)

Evolution of Pappu…
2004: New wine in new bottle?
2009: Old wine in new bottle?
2014: Old wine in old bottle!
2015: Ancient wine in ancient bottle.

Pak Ruler: Howz our strategy of bleeding India with 1000 cuts going?
Advisor: Actually there are a million cuts.
Ruler: Excellent!
Advisor: Umm… it’s we who have ended up with a million cuts.

Dear Government,
First try to get Sonia/Pappu to give their foreign travel details to tax authorities and then pick on the common man.

(April 18)

65 MPs write a letter to Obama.
Obama replies to 1.25 billion Indians.
‪#‎ObamaOnModi‬ ‪#‎TimeMagazine‬

Congress to send a spokesperson to counter Modi on his foreign tours.
(Translation: Not just in India, we want to be a global laughing stock too)

(April 17)

Jawaharlal Motilal Nehru.
Ja______ __ti__ Ne___.

(April 16)

The fall…
Nitish + Laloo + Mulayam + Gowda + Chautala = Just the 8th largest party in the Lok Sabha.

Poor sweet innocent MMS—Misled by Raja over 2G, Sibal over 66A, Kalmadi over CWG, Antony over Scorpene/Tatra, himself over Coalgate, IB over many things and by Sonia over everything else.

On Twitter, many spoof handles seem far more logical, convincing, witty and effective than the original handles.

Tum mujhe khoon do, main tumhe azaadi doonga.
Nehru-Gandhi dynasty…
Tum mujhe vote do, main tumhe ghulaami doonga.

(April 15)

Pakistan civilian government’s outsourcing…
Decisions: Army.
Security: US.
Finance: Saudis.
Law & order: Terrorists.
Brains: Filaal ghaas charne gayi hai.

(April 14)

If Hillary Clinton becomes President then interns won’t be safe in the White House again.

The next President of America…
Somebody the First
Clinton the Second
Bush the Third.

(April 12)

BBC-CNN-Al Jazeera covered India’s Yemeni evacuations in detail.
Indian TV channels matched that kind of coverage over VK Singh’s Tweets.

(April 9)

Emraan Hashmi.
Theme song for one movie…
You can call me X.
Theme song for all movies…
You can call me sex.

(April 7)

Manmohan’s progress …
2013 to himself: Main bekasoor hu!
2014 to voters: Main bekasoor hu!
2015 to CBI: Main bekasoor hu!
2016 to courts: Main bekasoor hu!
2017 to historians: Main bekasoor hu!

(April 1)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru