Yet more Kejriwal musings…

At this rate, Arvind Kejriwal will soon file an FIR against Barack Obama.
Take that Preet Bharara!

If Arvind Kejriwal is the item girl of Indian politics, then I must say he’s extremely prolific.
We have a different item song each and every day.

Since most politicians are corrupt in India, arrest all the AAP ones.
Same logic used by Somnath Bharti to harass African women and now claim that he stands vindicated with latest expose.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Foreign Test debacle musings…

Dhoni: I lost in Auckland.
Srinivasan: Don’t worry, I won in Dubai.

New Zealand to sirf ek jhaaki hai,
England main whitewash abhi baaki hai.

Srinivasan should step down as BCCI President.
–>Becomes ICC President instead.
Chennai Superkings should be scrapped.
–>He’ll do so and simply launch Chennai SuperEmperors instead.

Detractors: You have no moral right to be BCCI President.
Srinivasan: OK! Let me be ICC President instead!

India, England and Australia try to form ICC super group.
With the way we are playing, I think we should form a super group with Bangladesh and Zimbabwe instead.

On foreign soil in Tests, the only question to be asked is whether the Indian team as a whole will cross the individual score of the highest Opposition batsman.

Ishant Sharma is like a salesman.
The moment he feels he has met his target of wickets, he takes it easy for the rest of the quarter.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The Facebook movie…

In terms of the cost of bandwidth and man hours wasted in watching/sharing the Facebook Movie, it must have already grossed $1 billion worldwide.

Nokia: We are the world’s largest producer of cameras.
Facebook: We are the world’s largest producer of movies.

Everyone will get his or her 15 minutes of fame.
—Andy Warhol.
Everyone will get his or her own movie.
—Mark Zuckerberg.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Congressi poll musings…

Did you know Manmohan Singh has refused his monthly salary?
Ab koi free main kaam karega to aisa hi bakwaas kaam karega na?

Pappu: Change the system! Bring in outsiders!
Note: Congress is the system. Pappu is the ultimate insider.
Subliminal message: Don’t vote for me or the Congress!

Congress is making great progress.
First they were stuck in 2002 (Godhra).
Then they were caught in 2004 (Ishrat case).
Now they’ve moved on to 2005 (Aseemanand allegations).

TV bytes…
What will happen to Pappu’s 6 bills… Pappu’s 6 bills… Pappu’s 6 bills…
Sounds like a kid bawling for 6 chocolate bars.

Congress plays politics like an ODI match.
They leave heavy scoring for the slog overs.
When play is called off due to bad light/rain, they lose and cry foul.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Indian politics main sabka swagat hai…

Dacoit bano phir araam se Indian politician ban jao. (Phoolan Devi)

Oxford-Cambridge main pado aur ant main Pradhan Mantri raho. (Manmohan Singh)

Barso ke liye Indian citizenship refuse karo, par araam se walk in kar ke party president bano. (Sonia Gandhi)

Bachpan main chaiwallah ban ke fir PM candidate bano. (Narendra Modi)

IIT main pado, CM ke gaddi pe baitho. (Manohar Parrikar)

Activism-Anarchy ki puja karo aur politics ke saath bhi khelo. (Arvind Kejriwal)

Housewife zindagi bhar raha ke bhi straight away CM bano. (Rabri Devi)

Total filmi career ke baad State ka Big Boss ban jao. (Jayalalitha-Karunanidhi-MGR-NTR)

Sasurji CM hai to damaad bhi banega. (Chandrababu Naidu)

Ma-baap-uncle-aunty-cousin… koi bhi politician hai to tumhari entry pakki. (Too many to name)

School ke dropout ho jao, araam se Indian politician bano. (Too many to name)

Chargesheet pa ke Indian politician bano. (100+ in the Lok Sabha itself)

Zindagi bhar aish karo, kuch na karo, kuch ideas na do, permanently future PM ka title lo. (Pappu)

© Sunil Rajguru

Raj karega AAP, magar dharna se…

Gali gali main dharna hai,
AAP ko kucch nahin karna hai.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
A dharna a day keeps the governance away.
An allegation a day keeps the real questions away.

Strange bedfellows in Delhi…
Both AAP and Congress voted together to form government.
Both AAP and BJP want government to fall.
Both BJP and Congress are disgusted with AAP.

AAP has simply redefined “Ruling Government” to mean “Opposition to the Opposition”.
So now Delhi has two Oppositions and Zero governments.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru