When to listen to which Congress leader…

If you’re in need of a good laugh: Pappu.

If you have insomnia: Manmohan.

If you are a masochist: Manish Tiwari.

If you love conspiracy theories: Diggy Raja.

If you admire “creative facts”: Kapil Sibal.

If you want to listen to silence: Sonia.

If you’re hard of hearing: Narayanasamy.

If you want to hear the stupidest of arguments presented passionately: Anyone on TV will do.

© Sunil Rajguru

AAP to aise na the…

CPI (1925): Communist Party of India.
CPM (1964): Communist Party Marxists.
CPA (2013): Communist Party AAPists.

More subsidies + Minority government + Sleeping with the enemy + Name calling + Marxism = New politics.

Kejriwal: I will attack Modi and grab the anti-incumbency vote!
JDU, CPM, BSP, SP, ADMK, BJD, Trinamool etc: Kripaya intezaar keejiye, aap kartaar main hai…

How did Arvind Kejriwal usher in 2014?
By saying AAPy New Year!

Sonianomics + Kejrinomics = Destructonomics.

A new product comes like a breath of fresh air and challenges the giants.
Then you start using the product and realize it’s worse than the giants.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When Manmohan Singh finally spoke…

MMS speech…
Main #TheekHu
Pappu #TheekHai
UPA #TheekHai
Corruption #TheekHai
Economy #TheekHai
Modi #TheekNahinHai
Vote for Congress in 2014.
UPA3 zindabad!

MMS: I want Pappu to become PM so that history will then judge me as the second worst PM ever and not the worst!

Q: How do you know Modi will be a “disastrous PM”?
MMS: Well, I’m the best judge as I have been one for 10 years now ain’t I?

Apparent MMS logic…
Scams of UPA1 are OK because we got re-elected in 2009.
Scams of UPA2 are OK because Modi will be a disastrous PM in 2014.

Arvind Kejriwal: Yeah! I am finally trending above Narendra Modi!
Alok Nath: Bitch please!
Manmohan Singh: My one boring speech can change that, #TheekHai?

Every night Manmohan Singh stares at the 2009 giant spoof poster “Singh is King” in his bedroom, sighs and goes to sleep.

MMS statement…
Scams in UPA1 are OK because we got re-elected in 2009.
So if you don’t get re-elected in 2014, then you are guilty of scams of UPA2?

Future tense…
Modi as a PM will be a disaster: MMS.
Present tense…
MMS as a PM is a disaster.
Past tense…
On hindsight, even UPA1 was a disaster.

Manmohan: Pappu beta, tu PM banega?
Pappu: #TheekHai.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru