When it comes to speech in the ruling party in India, the top brass has verbal constipation and the spokespersons verbal diarrhea.
When it comes to corruption, there’s a constipation of action and a diarrhea of scams.
Same with policies and decisions: Either constipation or diarrhea, but never the right amount of shit.
They’re even trying to make our Free Speech constipated, but the result is always diarrhea.
This version by Sunil Rajguru
· Congress Silent Trimurti…
Sonia: Doesn’t need to speak.
Rahul: Can’t speak.
Manmohan: Won’t speak.
· Congress FDI = Congress Finally Doing It.
· Going by recent Congress logic, they’ll simply say that a Rs 5 diesel hike will result in Zero Loss for the consumer.
· Thappad maaro to gaal pe Paanch Ungliyo ka nishaan.
Diesel ka Paanch Rupaiya ka thappad desh ke gaal par.
Sahi Congressi chinnh hai.
· Looks like the Congress-BJP Coal-a Wars will continue for quite some time.
· Congress, which was blocking all deliveries till now, has suddenly entered the slog overs.
· Goal achieved: Diesel hits a half-century.
Goal pending: Petrol hits a century.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
· CONGRESS = Corrupt Opportunistic No-Gooders Registering Endless Supersized Scams.
· From now on all Price Hikes should be renamed as UPA Scam Subsidy for that is what they are. We are paying for the sins of this government.
· 6 cylinders a year?
Congress spokespersons should be limited to only 6 stupid statements a day, but even that is asking for the moon.
· UPA = Unlimited Price Augmentation.
· Live Free. Die Hard. Coal Free. Hike (Diesel/LPG) Hard.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Number of people controlling India’s destiny: 1 (Sonia Gandhi)
Number of years the UPA is going to loot the nation: 10
IQ of Rahul Gandhi: 100
Number of scams unearthed during UPA rule: 1,000
Number of tall claims made by Diggy Raja: 10,000
Number of nonsensical statements made by Congress spokespersons: 100,000
Number of times Meira Kumar has said Baith jaaiye in Parliament: 1,000,000
Numbers of Tweeple, Facebookers and Bloggers against the UPA: 10,000,000
Estimated number of corrupt people in India in excess of: 100,000,000
Number of people suffering under the UPA regime in excess of: 1000,000,000
Numbers of Tweets, status messages and verbal curses against the UPA: 10,000,000,000
Net worth of Indian billionaires in excess of: 100,000,000,000
Size of an average value mega scam nowadays: 1,000,000,000,000
Net worth of all scams combined in excess of: 10,000,000,000,000
Congress target for future scams: 100,000,000,000,000
© Sunil Rajguru
· Loot Rs 1.86 lakh crore=Legal+Patriotic+Don’t even criticize+No jail.
Draw a cartoon on the above=Illegal+Treacherous+Strongly condemnable+Get jailed!
· Be careful what you put on your Facebook/Twitter accounts: Obama.
Be careful if you have Facebook/Twitter accounts in the first place: Manmohan.
· Gold Medal: People are sovereign.
Silver Medal: Constitution is supreme.
Bronze Medal: Parliament.
Congress will get the message in 2014 or before.
· UPA2 has seen great growth (of scams), great stability (to scamsters), united India (against it), and now will meet all future expectations (as none are left).
· If you look at all the nonsense Diggy Raja talks, then he could have his own 24X7 channel.
If you look at the sense he talks, then there’s infinite silence.
· I am living the American Dream: Obama.
I am living the Indian Nightmare: Manmohan.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
· Let a 100 flowers bloom: Mao.
Let a 100 scams boom: Manmohan.
· Haath jodte hue aate hai Congressi sab,
Thappad maarte hue woh to jaayenge,
Aur hum voters Muqaddar ke Bandar jaaneman kehalayenge.
· Pachaas kos door shahar me jab Congressi ke ghar main bachcha raat ko rota hai to maa kahati hai beta so jaa… so jaa nahi to CAG aa jaayega.
· Agar MMS sach bolta…
Kya tum doodh se dhule hue ho?
Nahin, main koyala se ragada hua hu.
· Teacher: Give an example of an uncountable noun.
Student: UPAScam.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru