Na toone Osama dekha, na maine Osama dekha…

When the Pakistan President met the ISI chief after the Osama killing, this is what they sang to each other…

(Please sing to the tune of Dono jawani ki masti main choor from the film Coolie)

Dono anaadi ke masti main choor,
Tera kasoor na mera kasoor.

Na toone Osama dekha, na maine Osama dekha,
Par Osama pakda gaya ho Rabba Rabba,
Incident ho gaya, disagreement ho gaya,
Permanent ho gaya Rabba Rabba.

Hum do anaadi na dekhi Abbottobad ki haveli,
Na dekha uski parchai,
(Par ye samundar main dal di ye kiski body?)
Na toone choppers dekhe, na maine choppers dekhe
Par Osama pakda gaya…

Lagta hamari matthi maari gayi thi,
Par India ki bhi kuch galti thi,
Mausam ki bhi kuch neeyat kharab thi,
Na toone khatra dekha, na maine khatra dekha,
Par Osama pakda gaya…

Arre nuksaan saara to bharna padega O bharna padega,
Ab humko Amrika ke saamne jhukna hi padega.
Na toone khabar leak ki, na maine khabar leak ki,
Par Osama pakda gaya…

(Original Song: Dono jawani ki masti
Film: Coolie
Year: 1983)

This spoof by Sunil Rajguru

Osama’s death in Hollywood quotes…

Yes, we will finally see a photograph and probably video of Osama’s death.
But has anyone outside of American citizens actually seen his body?

Jerry Maguire
Show me the body!

I think this is the beginning of a beautiful conspiracy theory.

Apollo 13
Attobad Mission Centre: Islamabad, we have a problem!

Gone With the Wind
Obama to Zardari: Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.

On the Waterfront
Pak to US: You don’t understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could’ve been somebody, instead of a terrorist state, which is what I am.

Star Wars
The Taliban to Osama, when he left Afghanistan: May Pakistan be with you.

Cool Hand Luke
US-Pak ties: What we’ve got here is (a) failure to communicate.

A Few Good Men
Obama to Zardari: You can’t handle the truth!

The Terminator
The Ghost of Osama: I’ll be back.

It’s dead! It’s dead!

A Pak government’s best friend is his terrorist.

Wall Street
Pak creed: Terrorism, for lack of a better word, is good.

Sons of the Desert
Zardari Hardy to Laurel ISI: Well, here’s another nice mess you’ve gotten me into!

Osama: Of all the ISI joints in all the towns in all of Pakistan, they walk into mine.

Obama: I’m king of the world!

Grand Hotel
Osama: I want to be alone

The ISI after the capture: Round up the usual suspects.

This version by Sunil Rajguru

Osama “death” musings…

Rumsfeld’s “unknowns” trumped…
Did Pakistan not know Osama was in Pakistan?
(How could they not know?)
Or are they merely pretending to not know?
If Pakistan knew, then did America know that Pakistan knew?
Or is Pakistan really playing the game… Does Pakistan know that America knows that Pakistan knew?
Past: They knew. Present: They are pretending to not know. Future: Who knows?

On Osama’s tombstone…
In Life: Osama bin Laden
In Death: Osama bin Body

The moot question….
Which Body was thrown into the ocean?
The Body of Evidence?
The Body of Lies?

Crazy conspiracy theory No. 2456…
Did Obama kill Osama?
Taking a vague and far-fetched numerology equation…
Put Obama and Osama side by side.
Cancel all the common letters.
All that is left is B… and S…

© Sunil Rajguru