Spotted on a Facebook Deewar

Mere paas gadi hai, bangla hai, bank balance hai… tumhare paas kya hai?
Mere paas Facebook account hai.

Followed by…

Bhai tum login karoge ya nahi?
Haan, main login karoonga, lekin main akela login nahi karoonga… main sabse pehle login nahi karoonga…. jao pehle us aadmi se login karao, jisne mere baap ko Facebook addict banaya tha; pehle us aadmi se login karao jisne meri maa ko Orkut par anshan comments likhe the aur har ek social networking site se nikal diya tha; pehle us aadmi ka login karao jisne mere haath pe ye ye (“Mera baap Facebook addict hai”) likh diya tha. Uske baad… uske baad, mere bhai, tu jitne baar Facebook pe login karne ko bolega, main karunga…

(This Version: Sunil Rajguru)

Random Thoughts 20

• How does a thing become eco-friendly if you paint it green? Don’t green paint and green ink also degrade the environment? Plus the sky is blue, snow is white, the oceans are blue, the sand is yellow…
The logo for Nature should be a rainbow, not green, which has lost all meaning anyway.

• In India a baby is born every second and a Breaking News item born every two seconds.

• Offline doesn’t mean Deadline.
24/7 online usually means that you are dead from the real world.

• Virtual Unreality: What the computer world actually is…
(Virtual is the opposite of real. Unreal is also the opposite of real… Two double negatives = ?)

• Old dilemma: Does he chuck or not?
New dilemma: Should he be called a chucker or not?

© Sunil Rajguru

The Facebook Champi Song

(Please sing to the tune of Pyaasa’s Sar Jo Tera Chakraaye, made immortal by the sublime Johnny Walker)

Sar jo tera chakraye,
Ya dil dooba jaaye,
Aaja pyaare paas hamare,
Kaahe ghabraye,
Kaahe ghabraye.

Site mera hai masti,
Duniya ka No. 3 basti,
Jis ke dil main jadu phira doon,
Hardam timewaste ho uski.

Sun sun sun, arre beta sun,
Is Facebook main bade bade gun,
Sun sun sun, arre beta sun,
Is Facebook main bade bade gun,

Lakh comments ka ek tareeka hai,
Kyu na aazmaye, kaahe ghabraye.

Life jo tera chakraye,
Ya career dooba jaaye,
Aaja pyaare login karle, kaahe ghabraye.

Pyar ka hove jhagda,
Ya office ka non-stop ragda,
Sab lafdon ko public kare jab,
Limelight milega tagda.

Sun sun sun, arre beta sun,
Is Facebook main bade bade gun,
Sun sun sun, arre beta sun,
Is Facebook main bade bade gun.

Lakh comments ka ek tareeka hai,
Kyu na aazmaye, kaahe ghabraye.

Naukar ho ya malik,
Leader ho ya public,
Apne aage sabhi jhuke hain,
Ab raj karega Facebook.

Sun sun sun, arre beta sun,
Is Facebook main bade bade gun,
Sun sun sun, arre beta sun,
Is Facebook main bade bade gun.

Lakh comments ka ek tareeka hai,
Kyu na aazmaye, kaahe ghabraye.

This Spoof By Sunil Rajguru

(Original Song: Sar Jo Tera Chakraaye
Film: Pyaasa
Year: 1957)

The Facebook Friend Joke

Why don’t you add XYZ…

XYZ is a person you may know…

You and XYZ have 35 mutual friends, you’ve got to add…

People You May Know –> Add XYZ as a friend

People You May Know –> Add XYZ as a friend

People You May Know –> Add XYZ as a friend

OK, you finally succumb to the temptation.

Result…

Do You really want to add XYZ as a friend?

(After all the soliciting, the doubt?)

XYZ will have to confirm that you are friends.

(Yes I know you Facebook application blockhead, just send the request)

Please enter the two barely legible words in the box, you may be a bloody spammer for all I know.

(Sigh is it worth adding friends anymore?)

Sorry, the person has too many users.

(Arrggghhh!!! Thanks for the suggestion anyway, I think)

Logout. Login again, to be greeted by the very same message:

Why don’t you add XYZ…

XYZ is a person you……

Deja Vu anyone?

© Sunil Rajguru

How the cookie crumbles in India…

2009: Satyam Scandal breaks out

2010: Raju denies he ever pleaded guilty

2014: Govt denies scandal ever took place

2020: Raju officially declared “Father of IT”

2030: Detractors say Raju never existed

2040: Records show Satyam never existed

Post Script: Satyam is the Sanskrit word for Truth

(This version: Sunil Rajguru)

6 advantages of frequent power cuts…

candle-2038736_640• With the absence of the TV and computer, you are forced to adopt the reading habit. This and delayed flights may be factors leading to the increased sales of English writing books in India off late.

• Makes you more social: You are forced to interact with your neighbours on a more regular basis…

• While the world hosts Earth Hour annually, we Indians celebrate it about a 1000 times a year. Some places celebrate Earth Day and Earth Week. Some villages even celebrate Earth Decade.

• A welcome check on kids who watch non-stop TV or play computer games without a break.

• India consumes less power and is hence eco-friendlier than other countries.

• Savings on your power bill.

© Sunil Rajguru