The truth about kid shows…

Tom & Jerry: The ultimate ROI in history. Take the same episodes and telecast them a few thousand times over a few hundred channels and they still stay fresh. It was first made when my father was born. The same episodes I saw as a kid and the same episodes my son still watches and laughs non-stop.

Power Rangers: How to take the same ancient old wine and pour it into a different bottle season after season after season and still be a hit with kids…

Doraemon: How to have the coolest robot and the greatest gadgets in the whole planet and still emerge as the biggest loser (Nobita) in your neighbourhood.

Shinchan: God! Do such families actually exist? Or did the cartoonist make this character to make every parent good about his or her child?

Amar Chitra Katha: My favorite cartoon strip becomes a TV serial for my son. That’s progress, I guess!

Mr Bean: It’s OK for your kid to watch Mr Bean 100%, but not OK if your child behaves like Mr Bean even 1%.

Perman: With great power comes great idiocy.

Boobah: If you got high on grass and wanted to make something for 3-year-olds, then this would be it. The Pink Floyd of the toddler world.

Titeuf: If ever any cartoon deserved an X-Rating, then this is it.

Oggy and the Cockroaches: A favorite show to watch while eating? OK, I am old!

© Sunil Rajguru

So very typically Indian…

• An organizing official comes at the centre of a busy traffic intersection and says, “Great. This is the perfect place to hold the function and set up a pandal.”

• A political party secretary receives a criminal charged with murder, kidnapping and looting and says, “Finally, a serious candidate for the elections.”

• The power company official comes out and smells wet soil and says, “Ah! The smell of incoming rain! It’s time to shut power for this area!”

• An employee who comes exactly on time, leaves exactly on time and spends the weekends with his family is frowned upon: We “unofficially” want slaves who will be camped in office all day and at our beck and call on weekends!

• The Prime Minister is about to hire a minister when he is told that he is computer literate, internet savvy and active on sites like Twitter. “Change of decision, we don’t want troublemakers!”

• A politician is ostracized by his community for not being corrupt: He doesn’t fit into the scheme of things and will throw a spanner in the perfectly functioning works.

• All the movies released are full of songs and focus on romance in some form or the other and yet all of them claim to be different.

• Thinking out of the box will make you out of sync with the people around you and eventually you will be out of the general scheme of things.

© Sunil Rajguru

Random Thoughts 18

• Six Degrees of Separation just got promoted to Five Degrees of Separation thanks to social networking!

• No matter which religion you follow in this world, there will be more people who do not follow that religion. So relax and make peace with your own God and live your own Life.

• Recently people are scared that Man created Life. But the biggest threat remains that of Man destroying Life.

• The only thing protected by Privacy is Facebook’s Privacy Laws—they are so obscure, dynamic and long that no-one actually knows what they are.

• Every poster remembering a politician has the phrase: “His vision lives on”. Yeah, that’s because no vision ever gets fulfilled in this country and continues to live on indefinitely…

© Sunil Rajguru

AG OG Lo-G 2G!

Please sing to the tune of My Name is Lakhan

Rum pum pum rum pum pum rumpa pupam pum pum…
AG OG Lo-G 2G!
Main hu Raja of 2G,
Karta hu main jo wo tum bhi karo ji,
1 2 ka 4, 4 2 ka 1,
My name is dhakkan, my name is dhakkan,
Spectrumo ka sajan,
Mera naam hai dhakkan.

Spectrum chakori, paisa hai license,
Suli pe latka hain har ek operator,
Sabke gale main.. Sabke gale main… Maya ka mala,
Seekho o yaaron inse ye dhanda, inse yeh dhanda.

Do saal seedhe bas delay kar ke, har spectrum becho jyaada bol ke,
Har spectrum becho jyaada bol ke,
Main apni khaali jebe bharu ji,
Karta hu main jo wo tum bhi karo ji,
1 2 ka 4, 4 2 ka 1,
1 2 ka 4, 4 2 ka 1,
My name is dhakkan, my name is dhakkan,
Spectrumo ka sajan,
Mera naam hai dhakkan.

Main kuchh na jaanu is-se jiyada,
Ye mera ministry, main iska dada,
Politics nahi itna seedha sadha,
Kaise karu kisi se bhi koi vaada?
Vaade hain jhuthe, paise sachhe ho tum,
Jaise bhi ho bade achhe ho tum,
Bade achhe ho tum…

Kehna coalition partners ka tum maan lo,
Achha bura hain tum kya jaano?
Tum kya jaano?
Kehta hu main jo wo tum bhi suno ji,
Maine suna nahi phir se kaho ji,
Nahi Number 2 koi dono ho number ho,
Main hu dhakkano ka dhakkan,
Spectrumo ka sajan, jiyo dhakkan dhakkan,
jiyo dhakkan dhakkan…

Spoof By Sunil Rajguru

(Original Song: My Name is Lakhan
Film: Ram Lakhan
Year: 1989)

The final status message…

Nowadays it’s become fashionable to log out of Facebook.
Some possible parting lines…

• How does one leave behind 1346 friends, 767 status messages, 143 likes, 2437 comments, 1887 causes and 234 quiz personality results? It is with a heavy heart that I consign all that to the dustbin of cyberspace. COL! (Crying Out Loud!)

• I am suffering from wristitis and fingeritis of the Facebook and have decided to quit on medical grounds.

• The day came when I just couldn’t write a Status Message anymore and I knew that it was time to go.

• This social networking ID has just checked out of the Facebook neighbourhood.

• Those all-day virtual Facebook parties have taken a toll on me. I quit.

• I would like to thank you for all the friend requests, comments, likes, support encouragement and requests for groups, activities, causes, events etc, but it is time for me to move on into the real world. I wish all my Friends the very best in Facebook.

Facebook hai hai, anti-privacy hai hai!

Jab tak suraj chand rahega, Facebook tu to nahin rahega…

• Fire, water and Facebook are good servants, but bad masters. I thought that I could master Facebook, but it has mastered me so I want out.

• I have found that it is next to impossible to delete my Facebook account, so I am changing the password and forgetting it. I don’t care if this account gets hacked.

• One day I noticed that my wife and kids weren’t there. Then the neighbours informed me that they had left for good 3 months back. Facebook you thief! I knew that I had to leave you then!

• So long, thanks for all the Likes!

• Oh God! I am still scarred from that virtual invasion of privacy. I need out.
(I almost felt like a celebrity.)

• It was like being a virtual fish in a virtual fishbowl while it lasted.

• For two years all of you virtually heard me out, gave me support in the form of likes, comments, causes and quizzes while we shared all the little little facets of each others lives. I will never ever forget you, but I have to leave you.

• Put a video link of the final scene of Terminator 2, where Arnold Schwarzenegger’s screen goes blank.

© Sunil Rajguru

Random Thoughts 17

• You should get away from all Real and Virtual Humans from time to time to maintain your sanity.

• Cricket is a matter of life and death in India. So it’s really surprising how many times we fans have totally died and still continue to live peacefully and with hope.

• Elsewhere in the world, sport is religion. For Indian politicians, religion is a mere sport. Elsewhere in the world, work is religion. For Indian politicians, religion is work and a great and lucrative means of livelihood.

• It’s not the politician’s fault. His consumers are foolish voters and he is merely servicing them.

• It’s surprising how when faced with “Quit or Tweet” how many choose both.

© Sunil Rajguru