First Voice: Namaste Mayaji. Kaise ho? Aaj kal dikahi aur sunai nahin dete ho. Media wale aapko bhool gaye kya. Haha.
Second Voice: Dikhai to aap bhi nahin dete Mulayamji! Sab jagah Amarji chaye hue hain. Aur woh na aapke party ke hain na mere. Hahaha.
Faint Third Voice: Hahahahahahahahaha…
First voice: Arre ye kiski awaaz hain? Ye to Rahul lage rahe hain! Mayaji, aapka phone kahin tap to nahin ho raha hain…
***
Sachin: Oh God! I thank you for all that you are giving me…
God: But I am very upset.
Sachin: Aila! Is that Deva re Deva? But what have I done?
God: I am suing you for copyright infringement!
Sachin: Kai mahantat tumhi deva…
God: You have heard of the phrase: Sachin is God?
Sachin: Yes, but…
God: Well, I used to hear it a few hundred times at max, but after it became a trending topic, I hear it a few million times a day, that is way beyond permissible limits…
Sachin: Aila! Me kai kelo… it’s my fans… they are infringing copyright… I am just going out and enjoying my game… why does this always happen to me?
***
Raj: Let’s divide Mumbai. I’ll take Amitabh, you take the rest of the Bollywood like SRK. You take Sachin and IPL and I’ll take the rest of cricketing controversies. I’ll take the taxi-drivers and you take the rest of the migrants. You take on Rahulji, I’ll take on Soniaji from now on…
Udhav: But I have already divided Mumbai! I get full Mumbai and you get nothing!
***
Woods: Hello this is Tiger Woods…
First Female Voice: Sorry I am not interested!
Woods: But I was just asking about my bank account!
Woods: Hello this is Tiger Woods…
Second Female Voice: Sorry I am not interested!
Woods: But I was just trying to order a pizza!
Woods: Hello this is Tiger Woods…
Third Female Voice: Sorry I am not interested!
Woods: Forget it!
Woods: Secretary. Remove all the female contacts from my contact list. For some strange reason women don’t want to talk to me anymore. And connect me only to males whenever I want to ask for anything.
(Silence)
Woods: Secretary! Secretary!
(Silence)
Woods: Damn! She’s left just like that! I have to get a good male secretary first!
***
© Sunil Rajguru