∙ People calling on the phone and asking, “Who’s speaking?”
“Man you called! Introduce yourself!”
Best repartee suggested by a friend: “Who’s listening?”
∙ People getting into the lift even as I’m trying to get out.
What do they want? A lift with two doors: One for in and one for out?
∙ Strangers asking me, “What’s your caste?”
“Man! I don’t want to tell you and I don’t give a damn whether you have a caste or not!”
∙ People yelling and screaming on TV debates.
The weaker the argument, the louder the voice.
∙ People never coming to a meeting on time.
Einstein was right. Time is relative… for every Indian.
∙ People overtaking my car from the left side on the roads.
Right is always right and left is always wrong. But if there’s a mishap, you’ll be the first one to come and argue with all guns blazing!
∙ People honking their extra loud honks all the time.
What do you expect me to do? Turn my car into a plane and fly over the traffic jam?
Best quip by a foreigner: If you’re deaf then you can’t drive on Indian roads.
∙ TV news sensationalism.
Millions of TV bytes over a single meaningless story and yet no end result.
∙ The chalta hai policy.
Chal nahin raha hai, hum chala rahe hai…
© Sunil Rajguru